


Caged Hearts

by HyperKey



Series: Worst possible outcome [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, alternative universe, post apocalyptic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKey/pseuds/HyperKey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When things once treasured have lost their meaning and survival is more important than what was once loved.</p><p>Full Fic to 'Killer Instinct'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of long gone days and uncertain futures

**Author's Note:**

> MGR:R Post Apocalyptic AU
> 
> There it is, i'm doing it. And boy I've spent all day trying to figure out a decent title. It might change. The full fic to "Killer instinct"  
> Hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Disclaimer: Metal Gear and any of the characters to NOT belong to me. I just play around with them.

For his birthday, John got a blade. It was a tiny combat knife, didn't look very new, but the blade itself was polished and sharp. It was a thoughtful gift, although he could see how uncomfortable his father had been with that decision. That frown on his face and how he furrowed his brows when his eyes gazed at the ground. John often thought he looked like a scolded child when he did that. All in all his father had seemed very young at times throughout the past two months. The boy didn't know why he got that impression, but his father was so much more willing to spend time outside now, and he knew so much.

The boy muttered a quick thank you to both his parents and glanced at his mother. She didn't look too happy either. He had been begging for a blade ever since he had seen how his father had taken apart a wild rabbit for them to eat. John wanted to do that too. Gather food with his father, though he could do without fighting the rogue cyborgs that were patrolling the area just a few miles away. They would have left already if this place if it hadn't been patrolled by these cyborgs. They needed to be there.

By now John had learned how his father kept going even without all the maintenance and repairs he usually underwent. He did look pretty pale lately though, the boy noticed. Maybe he was just tired. They all were tired.

The three were sitting around a campfire, stars high up in the sky of a chilly Monday in a late November night. Who would have thought he would spend his thirteenth birthday at a campfire in the wastelands that had once been their home. John had wished for a videogame for his birthday. Not for a blade. But that had been at the beginning of the year. Now his priorities had shifted to gather food. He had become pretty good at fishing. His father had praised him for that, but even John knew that eating fish all the time would not help in the long run.

So he had learned to climb trees and gather fruits. His father's knowledge in that had certainly helped in finding out what was edible and what not. John couldn't help but wonder how his father knew so much about it. Sure he was a very skilled fighter, and he knew how to use a sword and tons of different guns, but there were things John couldn't piece together.  His father knew how to find drinking water, how to make it drinkable if it wasn't clean, he knew how to look for trails and animals, and he knew how to trick enemies and animals. He hadn't shown that to John yet though. The boy couldn't wait for that. It sounded fun to lure them into a trap.

He had dreaded the cake his mother would bake on his birthday. Now he missed it. The awful taste, the candles. He sighed at his thoughts when his father gave him a second gift.

It was a drinking bottle. Fairly new, not scratched or damaged. He wondered where his father had gotten it when he carefully took it into his hands. It had a strap, the lid was attached to the bottle so it wouldn't get lost and it had a nice dark green color so that it wouldn't attract anyone's attention when he was running around with it.

Had the Cyborg finally realized that he wasn't useless? Was he allowed to go hunting for other things than fish now?

His mother had gotten a sniper-rifle from god knows where. Someday she just had it and she never spoke a word about it. John wanted a gun too, but he knew his father wouldn't allow that. There was something in his eyes that scared John whenever he asked for a gun. He looked angry and upset then.

His mother never answered any questions regarding that and John had given up by now. He had accepted the fact that he would not get a gun, but maybe he would find one someday. One of these rogue cyborgs could drop one after his father was done with them.

It had taken John a long time to be able to sneak after his father without him noticing it. The boy had no idea how he did that, but the cyborg always seemed to know that he was tailing him. Until a few days ago. John thought he had finally found the blind spot of the man when he managed to tail him beyond the small river. What he saw then had spiraled the boy into a conflict with his thoughts.

He had seen how his father soundlessly sneaked up on the unsuspecting cyborg on patrol. The man had been carrying a gun and had been ready to shoot, but he was cut in half before he even realized what had happened. John had to cover his mouth and bite his tongue so he wouldn't scream in surprise and fear. The last thing he wanted was his father noticing that he didn't follow the instructions. The man had been really strict about where John was allowed to go and where he wasn't. And beyond that river was _'out of mission area'_. So the boy had watched it in silence, had a nightmare that night and didn't know what to think about it. He couldn't see what his father had done with the blue thing he had taken from the cyborg.

John didn't dare to ask, had nightmares since then. The silent kind thankfully, so he didn't have to explain to his parents. He knew how loud and scary nightmares could get, had seen his father having them a lot in the past months. The boy always pretended to sleep, bit his lip and covered his ears when his mother tried to calm the man down and wake him up.

It didn't always work.

His mother looked at his father with concern when John looked at her again. Her expression immediately changed to a small smile. It was a faked smile and seeing his mother do that raised red flags inside John. The woman never faked smiles. Coming to think of it, his father didn't seem as happy as he did in the beginning. Maybe it was a little farfetched to even say anyone was happy with the situation, but the man seemed so much less restricted. John had never seen him run around so freely, so full of life. Maybe it was like it was with a new toy. It was fun in the beginning but it gradually began to be normal, boring. John had to agree that this life had been fun in the beginning. It had been something new, something out of the routine, but now it was routine too. And it was scary routine.

John had no idea what had happened to his classmates, to the new teacher they had just gotten two weeks before this. The neighbors. He didn't even know what happened to the stray-cat he sometimes fed. Had it starved?

There was no electricity, no one to ask. John couldn't shake the feel that something bad was brewing behind the scenes. The way his parents looked at each other made him feel the dread that seemed to swarm around them for a few days now. He didn't know how to ask if something was wrong, didn't want them to realize that he could feel it. Something was going on. Something bad.

"I'll be gone for a few days." His father then said. He wasn't looking John in the eye, still stared at the ground with that guilty gaze he usually had when he suggested something he didn't like. "...I got word that there's a resistance group ahead... they might have supplies we could use."

John frowned. Was his father trying to become like these rogue cyborgs? They killed people, John had heard that from his mother. Was he going to steal from them or murder them?

"But-" He started, was interrupted when the pale blue eyes of the cyborg stared at him with a glare that didn't allow any backtalk. His father's glares had always been amusing, John had never been able to take them seriously. Until now. Now his eyes looked scary when he glared. Full of hatred and determination. Maybe there was also fear, but John wasn't sure.

"I'll be back in two days. You two stay low and don't do anything that isn't necessary."

His voice was so cold, as if he was talking to strangers, enemies. John felt the tears fill his eyes but he swallowed them. He couldn't swallow the lump in his throat though. The man had never been like this, never been so serious, so scary. He commanded and ordered, and after that day where John had tailed him he barked at them when something didn't go right. John thought that he acted like these scary military commanders in the war movies that sometimes aired on TV. He wasn't allowed to watch them, but when his mother was out for groceries he sometimes did it anyway. Maybe that was what had made John suspicious. He hadn't been able to watch any movies for months, but he still remembered that.

His father seemed to be used to order people around.

The boy needed a long time to fall asleep that night. His father had made sure the fire wouldn't go out while they slept and left when the sun began to rise. John briefly considered following him, but knew his mother would come looking for him too them. So he hoped the trail his father left would be easy to follow once his mother was out hunting.

His mother woke him that morning. "I'm heading out. Be careful, John. Don't do anything rash."

She always said the same when she woke him up. He gave her the usual annoyed nod and sat up with a yawn, watched her leave and scrambled to the river once she was out of sight. She wouldn't come back until evening, that was hopefully enough time to figure out where his father had went to. After all, he hadn't said that following him was not allowed.

The boy filled the water bottle and strapped it to his back, made sure the knife was within reach, just like his father had shown him. The man had shown him how to take enemies down, but his enemies were fish and logs. He didn't think he'd ever need to fight anyone if he was just silent enough.

Following the trail the cyborg left wasn't that hard. John had some practice in that already, but in a n open sandy patch of nothing but dry earth he lost it. There was a strong wind that had made the trail unusable. In the distance he saw tents, maybe the moving things were people, but it was too far away to run there, the heat was starting to get uncomfortable too. Sunny had told him about the nice winter days in the countries she visited. He envied her now. His home was hot when it was cold on the other half. It was even worse now, John thought.

With a sigh the boy decided to head back and do the tasks he was supposed to do. Gather water, find something to eat while his mother tried to fiend friendly people among all those that wanted to kill each other. She came back with tiny parts and devices lately too. They had piled up in a broken plastic box over the last week. John had wondered why she was doing that, but didn't get the chance to ask. Maybe he would do it today.

When John had reached the river again he pulled the net out the bag attached to his belt and looked for a patch with a few fish. They never seemed to get any less. Maybe because his father didn't eat. John had wondered how he was able to keep moving after so long without eating anything, still hadn't quite understood that his father was able to eat like a normal human but didn't have to.

He had been lost in thoughts and didn't pay attention when the net slipped from his fingers and drifted off. He cursed silently and ran after it, slid down on the muddy soil and tumbled over the ground for a moment before he was able to break his fall. The net was gone from sight by then.

"Damn it all..."

He moved his hair out of his face and began to walk downstream in hopes of finding the net again.  There was nothing but trees and tall grass around him. Further down there were rocks and dry patches. The net could have gotten caught on a branch, he hoped.

Ten minutes later he gave up on the net. It was probably too far gone now anyway. He saw someone crouching over the river in the distance. It seemed to be a man, dressed in baggy thrown together clothing. John couldn't tell if it was a cyborg or not so he decided to stay low. His father had made it very clear how dangerous the rogue cyborgs were and how much other people dreaded them. It had made the boy think. Normal humans would think he was dangerous too, even when he wasn't.

The boy lay down flat on the ground between a patch of tall grass and a rock, just like his father had told him, and waited. The stranger didn't seem too interested in his surroundings, what was he doing there? He had seem some kids play there a while ago but they had never come back. Maybe they had moved. A lot of people around here just stayed for a few days and then were gone again. It had happened a few times now.

His mother had gotten supplies from them two weeks ago, the next day they were gone without a trace. She had traded her silver necklace for something John still didn't know what it was. It was concealed in a plastic bag and he had never seen it again. Another thing he should ask his mother about. His parents were keeping something from him, that was very clear to him for a while now.

The man called out to someone and out of the bushes a small child appeared. John realized that they had been looking for drinkable water. This river had good water, that was the reason they had settled here. His father had said that water attracts others, people and animals. So they had set up the shed a little farther away, but still close enough to walk there without wasting too much time.

They left again after a few minutes and John crawled out of his hiding place. He had long since gotten used to all the spiders and other bugs that liked to sneak into his clothing when he was lying down like that. He just brushed them off and sneaked back to the shed to find something he could use to hunt the fish. He could always use his hands, but since he didn't have a bucket he would have had to run back and forth between the shed, didn't want the slippery fish to writhe about in his bag.

The shed was empty, like he had expected. There was an unused plastic bag he was half about to use when he realized that it had holes. Frustrated he went into the makeshift bedroom und located the broken plastic box his mother had brought back a while ago.  The parts in there threatened to spill over when John slowly placed them on the old blanket spread over the stack of hay that was supposed to act as a bet. Upon further inspection, John realized that these parts looked fairly new. Most of it were screws, some cords, tiny devices that seemed like they could work if someone gave it electricity. He had no idea what they were supposed to do or what they belonged to. He faintly remembered similar things to be used in Wolf's body. Sunny had shown him a while ago when she had been doing repairs on the AI. Especially the cords looked very different from the ones he had seen in the radio his mother had thrown at his father once. He had snapped the radio in half when he batted it away and sent the parts flying all over the kitchen.

Some of the bigger parts had barcodes on them. That was when John realized that they belonged to Cyborgs. He assumed that his mother was gathering them to trade them for other supplies. Some people had things they needed, sometimes they had better food or warm blankets. His father had said that they needed to be prepared for just about any situation. John wondered what the worst was that could happen when he continued to unpack the box.

The bottom of the box was intact, just the sides had a few cracks. He could live with that.

Back at the river he had quickly filled the box with five or six fish and headed back to the shed. Sun was about to set and John had been surprised that he had spent so much time. Quickly he started the fire, another thing his father had taught him. Just where did he get all this knowledge from? John didn't think it was something he learned in his work. Being a bodyguard probably didn't involve learning how to survive in the wilderness.

His mother came back when the sun was almost completely gone. She greeted him with a small smile, set the rifle against the wall and sat down next to the fire. She looked tired, dark circles under her eyes. She looked older, way older now in the firelight.

They ate in silence, neither of them having anything to talk about. The boy wondered where his father was, missed him already. It didn't matter that he seemed scary lately. He was still his father and John loved him.

"Mom?" John eventually dared after his mother had picked away at one of the fish the boy had caught. It was something that seemed so normal now. John remembered how disgusted he had been when his father had shown him how to prepare them for a meal. Not it was so normal he could do it with his eyes closed.

"I lost the net, so I took the box. Why were there so many cyborg parts inside?"

The woman almost choked on her food. "You didn't throw the parts out, did you?" there was a slight hint of panic in her voice, John didn't like that. Why were these parts so important?

"No. I just put them on the bed."

"Good." She exhaled long and slow as if to calm herself.

"Why do you need them?"

Rose stared into the fire, frowned at it, took another bite. John wondered if she was trying to find an answer or wanted to avoid the question. His father was a genius in avoiding questions, but his mother usually answered.

"Trading." She replied. "Others might need them."

Something inside John told her not to believe her. Maybe it was because her voice had changed, or that she didn't look into his eyes.

"Why would they want cyborg parts? The only friendly people I've seen where normal humans."

Rose looked at him, eyes wide for a second before she turned her head away with a sad smile, eyes casted to the ground. "For repairs maybe." She shrugged. "Maybe they want to trade them to cyborgs for repairs..."

Her hands were trembling when she continued to eat, her eyes avoiding his gaze.

"Is something wrong with dad?"

When rose dropped her fish, John knew he was right. Now dread filled him. "What is wrong with him?"

"Nothing. He's fine." Rose said, picked up the dropped fish, dusted it off and picked away at it again.

John wondered when his mother had forgotten how to lie. She used to be so good at it that not even his father had realized it, but the lies she told now were too obvious.

"Is that why he went out to that resistance group?"

"He just wants to find out if they have supplies we could use." Rose immediately answered.

John left it at that. His mother wouldn't give him a useful answer. They spent the rest of their dinner in silence, John threw in some more wood so the fire wouldn't go out over night and headed to the blanket he had designated to be his bed.

In the morning Rose was gone without waking him. The boy didn't know how long his mother had been gone, but the sun told him that it was about nine in the morning. Another thing his father had shown him.

His mother had washed and dried the box and put all the parts back into it. She had taken the rifle with her. It was the same as all the other days. John didn't realize that he was bored until he thought back on the things he would do at home. Play with his Lego, invite friends over. Play outside with them, bug his father into playing video games his him. He had nothing to do except gather fish. It had been the same for a long time now. Everyone would leave the shed in the morning, they'd return in the evening, have a meal together, go to sleep and do the same thing the next day. John was barely able to keep track of the dates and time. His father would tell him when he asked, he seemed to have some sort of clock or calendar in the interface-thing John never understood.

The boy had stared off into the distance for a long time before he decided to get up and do something useful. Maybe finding a new net. He had just left the shed when he saw a tall figure dressed in a long fluttering coat walk towards the shed. John recognized the man immediately, instinctively dashed towards the man to greet him. Before all this had happened his father had visited them for a few hours, he had been on a mission, wasn't supposed to stop by at home, but he did so anyway and John had been so happy to see him, didn't care about the combat body at all.

And then just a few hours later they had to flee. John didn't remember much of it, just that everything was suddenly wasteland.

 "Dad!" John yelled happily.

The cyborg looked up, smiled, but over all his expression was full of concern when he picked up the boy and hugged him tightly.

"Did you find supplies?" John asked curiously once he was back on solid ground. He could see that the man had a bag with him he didn't have before.

"Some." His voice was different, John noticed. More silent, tired. "Not nearly enough, but it will do for a few days."

John nodded even though he had no idea what the man was talking about. He tailed his father to the shed, surprised when the man sat the bag down gave him a book. It was a children's book, looked fairly new. John wasn't sure if he would like it, but it was better than staring off into distance all day.

"Thank you." John muttered and opened the book, saw from the corner of his eyes that his father had sat down on the ground and closed his eyes. He seemed to tremble in the sunlight. There was sweat on his forehead too. Maybe his breath was a little faster than usual too. He was exhausted, John concluded. After all, even cyborgs needed to rest every once in a while.

"I lost the net..." John muttered after a while of staring at his father. The tremble seemed to pick up by the minute.

The man only nodded in response.

"Why is Mom is gathering cyborg parts?"

Jack looked up at him, smiled a humorless smile and sighed.  "For repairs..." he said.

The boy furrowed his brows, leaned in a little to get a better look at his father. He was so pale, looked so tired.

"Do you need repairs?"

The man gave him a single barely notable nod.

"Does mom know how to do it?"

A headshake.

"Oh..."

"I tried to find someone who can." The cyborg finally admitted, silently, with that downcast gaze of his.

"Do you know how to?"

Jack scoffed. "Wish I did."

"Is it bad?"

"Not yet." He reached out to ruffle his son's hair. "Don't worry."

The boy scrunched up his nose in displease. "I help you find someone who can!"

"You do that." The man muttered silently and let his hand sink with a smile. "But not beyond the river."

John resisted the urge to sigh and roll his eyes. He wasn't sure why his father had restricted the area to the river, didn't think he'd ever found if it wasn't for the fact that the man took other cyborgs apart.

But what did it matter? His father had told him a long time ago that someone taking a life was necessary.  

Unavoidable.

 


	2. Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making up shit again. Haha. Hope you like it! Thanks for the comments :D
> 
> (EDIT: Reworked it a little to get rid of the mess i created. No major changes, no worries.)

Night came slow. John flipped pages in the book, set it aside when his father shifted and got up again. The man had been sitting on the ground for hours, unmoving, watching. He frowned from time to time, muttered things to himself. The tremble had subsided, John assumed he was better now. Rested enough to return to being his usual self. He even smiled when he went over to John and ruffled his hair.

John had caught a few fish earlier, prepared them to be eaten and continued to read the book. It was relatively short, colorful pictures in it. It was a book for children much younger than him. His books had started to be filled with poems and prose of authors even his mother lifted her eyebrows at.  John couldn't help that he liked them, there was something about it that seemed to reach his soul, if something like that even existed. Uncle Snake had told him a long time ago that whoever was reached by words, still had hope. John wondered how Snake was doing up in heaven. His mother told him the man would always be watching him after the night they gotten _that_ call from Uncle Hal.

John had liked the man. Everyone insisted that his name was David, but he had let John in on a secret. _He didn't mind to be called Snake._ His father had done it all the time anyway.

When the moon was starting to crawl across the sky his mother returned. There was a bleeding scratch on her cheek and her bag was full of various parts she had collected over the day. The woman seemed tired, exhausted. Wordlessly she walked past the two and emptied the contents of her bag into the plastic box that was already filled to the brim.

"I just can't find any." John heard her mutter to his father.

"Can't either... There has to be someone out there with that many cyborgs around."

The boy looked up from his book, saw his parents stand next to each other at the plastic box. His father's eyes seemed to glow tonight. They were so bright, so unusually bright. They looked like glass marbles, John noticed. Empty, hollow. In the pale face they just made him look sick, though. His mother reached a hand out to touch his father's cheek. One of the only patches of real skin left where the man could still feel sensations like a normal human being. He had tried to explain to John that it felt like a limb falling asleep, minus the tingling. It was just dull. John thought he had understood how that felt like.

They spoke for a bit longer, John unable to follow their conversation as it involved lots of words he didn't know. There was the gaze in his parent's eyes that told him not to ask any questions. They both looked tired and exhausted. His father even more than his mother. John didn't know how that was even possible.

The two settled down next to the campfire and the boy was surprised when his father picked up one of the fish. John was pleasantly surprised to see his father eat, couldn't shake the feeling that it had a meaning he couldn't grasp, though. The answers seemed to be before him, and he couldn't grasp them at all. They were there, so close and so far at the same time. It was as if his mind refused to think the obvious.

Why had he avoided food for so long and why was he eating now? Did he just want to taste the fish John made nearly every night? John was spilling over with questions, not sure if he was supposed to ask any of them. His mother was dozing off and his father's movements were slow, clumsy. He was trembling again, the sweat back and his blue eyes glowed in the fire light. Hollow and empty like the marbles. John remembered that his mother had looked like that too that one time where she had gotten that really bad cold and had to stay in bed for a few days.

Was he getting a bad cold too? John wasn't even sure if cyborgs could get sick, but they were still human and humans could get sick. He would make sure that his father had the blanket over his body tonight. Finding medicine was not easy. John knew that because he had hit his knee and the wound got infected a while ago. His father made sure it wasn't anything too bad, and in the end it wasn't. But it would have healed faster with some proper treatment. Now there was only a tiny scar that reminded of the wound.

"John," His father suddenly spoke. His voice was slow, silent and hoarse. "Are you confident in tailing someone without them noticing?"

The boy perked up at that. Was his father suggesting what he thought he was? Was he allowed to go beyond the river now? Eagerly he nodded. He had managed to tail him after all. Although John wasn't sure anymore if his father had just not paid attention and was occupied with other things. Fighting seemed to be so natural for him, the man fought without thinking twice, as if it was a reflex.

"I need you to listen very closely to this." Jack spoke firmly, set the fish aside and put his elbows on his knees as he leaned close to his son. "The cyborgs patrol the area at five to eleven am. It will probably rain tomorrow. That will make it easier for you to follow one of them-"

"Really?!" John could barely hide his excitement.

"Listen!" Jack snapped, grabbed the boy's shoulders so quickly that the boy flinched in surprise and fear.

He swallowed the tears. His father hadn't meant to yell, John could see that in his gaze, but his eyes looked even more lifeless up close.

"Follow them along the forest. Don't ever go out in the open. Be quiet, listen to your surroundings and just watch where they are going. You're the only one who can do that, you're small enough so they won't notice you in the lighter patches of the forest."

John nodded, still recovering. Just what was it that made his father so scary lately? Was it his voice? His eyes? The boy could see the sweat glistening on his forehead and he almost reached out to check if he had a fever like his mother always did  when he wasn't feeling well. He missed the moment, the man had pulled away already.

"Stay low, don't make any sound and return immediately if they even seem to think that someone is following them. They don't have infrared vision, they won't be able to see you on their radars."

"How do you know?" John asked, bugged that his voice trembled a little.

Jack gazed at him once more, then glanced at the ground, eyes full of guilt. "I checked."

"Oh. Okay." The boy nodded. If the man had checked, then he would be right. How had he found that out, though?

He wondered why his father hadn't followed them already, assumed it was because he was too tall and bulky to sneak past the places where the trees stood really close to each other.

\---

His father had a nightmare that night. He couldn't move much, had explained that these functions were shut down when he slept, but that didn't make his screams and cries any less heart wrenching. John was lying in the darkness, bit his lips and tried to cry as soundlessly as possible while his mother was cooing and whispering to the confused man just woken up from an agony John would never understand. He had asked his father what the nightmares were about, but he had avoided the question. Whenever he did that, John knew that it was better not to ask again. The man simply didn't want to talk about it.

In the morning his mother had left before sunrise, left him alone with his father. John didn't mind it much, the man was awake now anyway, sitting at the fire, fumbling around in the bag. The boy slowly walked up to him, frowned slightly at the device the man held. It looked like a telephone. An ancient telephone.  Just as ancient was walkman's and cassette tapes. John remembered how bewildered he had been when his father showed him that the clunky object with all the buttons was actually able to play music. John had never seen anything like that and his father explained that back when he had been young, those things were very common. Then CD's came and soon everything was able to be played digitally.

The boy knew that his father had been born in the 80's, had done the math. And the computer turned up quite a few interesting things about it, and yet it seemed that the man had never really experienced any of the things his mother was talking about.

"Dad?"

Jack turned around painfully slow. John frowned. This wasn't a normal slow. The man wordlessly gave him the telephone thing and told him how to operate it.

"Found it yesterday. It's ancient, but it works."

"What does it do?"

"Radio. It works like a telephone, you just have to press this button while you talk." Jack demonstrated it again.

"Can it play music?"

"What?"

"You said it's a radio..."

The man sighed. "Forget what I said, just don't forget how it works." His voice was firm and strict.

"Okay." John mumbled.

"Take your time when you follow them. Don't rush. Do you understand, John?"

The boy could only nod, felt tears rise again. Why was his father so cold to him? Had he done something that upset the man?

"I want you to relay a message to me every five to ten minutes, got that?"

A nod, more tears burning in his eyes.

"You need to come back immediately if they notice you. Run home, directly here. I will deal with them if you bring them here."

"D-Dad..." The boy's voice cracked. "Why don't you follow them...?" he was having more than just second thoughts now. Was his father trying to get rid of him?

"...They will notice me, they've noticed me every single time I tried, John. Interrogating doesn't work either, they don't say anything..." Jack's eyes wandered to the ground again when he wrapped a heavy arm around the slim form of his son and pulled him closer. "I don't want you to do this. But you're the only one who can... They are using new parts. They must have someone skilled enough to do repairs. If we find out where they're hiding..."

"Oh." John finally realized. "You want that person to repair your body."

Jack nodded.

"But what if he doesn't want to?"

"I'll find a way." The man held the boy tighter for a moment before letting him go. "Don't get cocky, never let them see you. If you even think they saw you, you run back here, got that?"

"Yes."

Jack closed his eyes with a deep sigh and slowly stood, his movements slow and heavy, somewhat out of balance when he leaned over and kissed the hair of the boy. "I don't want anything to happen to you... I-I hate myself for doing this..."

"It's okay." John shook his head. "I can do this!"

The boy was surprised how confident he sounded when he was in reality scared to the bone. If the cyborgs were even half as powerful as his father was, he wouldn't stand a chance. When he glanced back to the fire as he walked over to the river he saw his father hunched over, head cradled in his palms. He looked sad and small somehow.

\--

John had been sitting at the patch in the forest his father had described to him for about ten minutes, no sign of any cyborg. The sun was beginning to rise now. John fumbled around with the telephone like thing and pressed the small button.

"I can't see anyone."

"Copied. Stay low and wait." Jack answered almost immediately. His  voice was silent and distorted, but John could understand the man so it was probably alright.

"Okay." John muttered. This had been strange and somehow interesting. It started to feel like something really important now.

It took a few more minutes until John finally saw the first cyborgs. Two of them, both heavily armed. The boy bit his lip and took a deep breath. As long as he didn't move no one would notice him, he hoped. They talked to each other, but John didn't understand anything.  Two more appeared from behind a tree. John knew there was a path down there, assumed that was where their home was.

The four cyborgs spread over the area and John decided to follow the path instead of the cyborgs. That path had to end somewhere, right? He had never dared to follow it, now realized that it would have been a bad idea if he had.

Mist was swarming around and it started to rain after a while. John pulled the petrol blue jacket closer and put on the hood when he wiped the rain off his face and followed the path in the safety of the forest. He was crawling through the bushes and trees, fed up with all of it when the rain began to seep through his clothing. Why was he doing that again?

John plucked the radio from the bag and pressed the button. "Dad, I found a path."

"Does it lead anywhere?" came the silent but immediate response.

"I don't know yet... I keep following it."

"Don't get lost."

John just nodded, stuffed the device back into the bag.

Ten minutes later three cyborgs were going down the path. John hid behind a rock and a few bushes, crouched down and waited. He didn't dare to breathe. His hands were scratched and burned, a branch with thorns had slammed into his face, the small scratches burned too.

Only when the three were out of sight he dared to continue. Half an hour later he saw a mansion. It looked old, half of it was missing, but there were lights burning and a lot of cyborgs were standing around it.

"Dad, I found it." John said into the device.

He received no reply.

"Dad? I found it." He repeated.

Still no reply. The boy had made sure the button was pressed when he spoke, the red light was still glowing too. The device was on and working. Or had it gotten too wet? John shrugged and turned around. He slowly and silently made his way back, got his shoe caught in roots and had to leave it behind in order to free his foot. He was drenched to the bone by then, but the rain was getting less. John was sort of happy. That mansion was probably the place where the person was that worked on cyborgs. He couldn't wait to tell his father, but all attempts at trying to use the radio went by unanswered.

He slipped on a wet branch with a surprised yelp when he fell, his jacket slipped up, branches and stones scratched his back as he hit his head on a rock. With a muffled whimper the boy rubbed his head, relieved that he didn't seem to bleed, but now he had a headache. And his back was burning.

Sniffling tears of frustration away he got up again, looked around, and met the eyes of a cyborg. John held his breath when the brown eyes stared at him.

"Ey, there's a kid." He heard the man speak to another cyborg and turned towards them.

John used the chance to run. He fled through the bushes and trees, higher up to the small mountain when he heard the men chase him.

"Dad!" John yelled into the radio. "They're chasing me!" Panic was clear in his voice as he ran. Why had he fallen down?! If that hadn't happened they wouldn't have seen him. On top of that he still didn't get a reply. "Dad!" the boy almost screamed now. He jumped over a small rock, landed in knee deep and ice cold water that made him gasp in surprise. Still, he had to keep running. Maybe his father would chase them away.

With clattering teeth the boy climbed out of the river on the other side and used a small hole he had just spotted, to hide in. it was barely big enough for him to use and he hoped the men wouldn't look too closely. He sniffed tears away both of fear and sheer frustration, maybe anger too. Why was his father not replying?!

The two cyborgs walked past him after a few minutes and John finally allowed himself to calm down. He was freezing and really just wanted to get out of his clothing and sit next to the fire. Still, there was a chance that the two came back, so John waited a little longer. He bit down hard on his lips, afraid the men could hear his clattering teeth and the barely suppressed sobs.

The two men passed him again after a while. They looked around, John was certain they had seen him when one of them came closer, but they both turned away again.

"Damn kids. This is the third time this week."

"You think it's the same kid?"

"Nah, that was a boy. Last time it was a girl."

"I see. We should head back to the patrol. They'd want a report."

John watched them leave, didn't dare to sit up until he couldn't hear their talking anymore. As expected, they were out of sight, and John realized he was completely lost. How was he supposed to find back home?

"Dad...?" John almost sobbed into the Radio. "I'm lost..."

And he had expected it, but the lack of any reply finally made him bawl. Where was he supposed to go? He looked around, stared into the river, then realized it was flowing down the mountain. If he followed the river downstream he would sooner or later reach a lighter patch of the forest, he hoped.

Slowly he followed the river, tried to warm himself up a little and stop the damn tears. Why did they keep coming? Warming himself was utterly useless with all of his clothing being drenched. Even his bag was wet.

After about twenty minutes he finally reached a more open area and recognized the scenery. This was where he always went to catch fish! Still sniffling tears away he turned to the right and headed to the shed. He couldn't see his father there, but his cloak was lying on the ground and the radio he used was next to it. Working. Where was his father though?

"Dad?" John asked while he  took off his jacket and tossed it on  the small wall where his mother always put her rifle. He hoped it would dry until morning. His pants followed, but he tossed them over the wall on accident. Sighing he went around it to pick it up and froze.

There was his father, leaned against the wall, head hanging. He looked somehow limp and weak.

"Dad?" The boy had forgotten about his pants when he crouched down and gently shook the man. "Dad,  don't sleep here."

The man opened his eyes, looked at the boy for a split second before he went limp again. John was seriously freaked out by then. What was wrong with the man?! The boy couldn't see any injuries. Was he just tired? His breathing was weird and he was shaking a lot. Was he cold? John went back to the shed and grabbed the blankets. The man was simply too heavy to drag him back there, and so John just draped the blankets over the man and sat in his lap to hug him.

So close to the man, John noticed that an unusual heat was coming from him. His dad was always cold, the combat body was even more freezing cold, but now the man's face, that always held a decent warmth was burning. John carefully reached out and almost flinched away when the blue eyes opened at the cold touch to the face.

"...John..." The man slurred. "....go back to bed..."

"Dad...? are you having a cold?" In all the years, John had never heard of his father getting sick. Never. But it wasn't impossible, was it?

"...Yeah..." the man breathed. "Just a cold..."

John hugged him a little tighter, pulled the blankets closer around him and his father. With the thought of where to find medicine he fell asleep.


	3. Kill or be Killed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's getting intense |D  
> Hope you enjoy it.

John woke up in his makeshift bed. It must have been in the afternoon, but he wasn't sure with the cloudy sky. His father was next to him on the floor, sprawled out. The boy assumed the man had carried him here. The blond hair of his father was glued to his forehead, his breathing still weird. John was beginning to worry then.

"Dad?" He shook the man lightly, but got no response.

Fear was rising inside the boy. Why was he like this? Hadn't he been fine yesterday?

... _No_.

He hadn't.  John had noticed, but why hadn't he asked more? His father hadn't been fine for a while now.

It took the boy four tries to turn his father on his back before he gave up. The man was so much more heavy than usual. He could barely pick his arms up.

"Dad..." John tried again. Still no reaction. "Please!" the boy shook the man again, this time with a little more effort.

It was no use, the man didn't even stir.

John felt the tears in his eyes burn. What was he supposed to do?! What did his mother do when he was having a cold? She always said he needed to drink a lot, but his father didn't drink. What else did she do? She read him stories... Jack was sleeping, stories were out of the question. _Get the fever down._ John remembered. Maybe he could do that. The boy took off his shirt and drenched it in the large bucket they kept water in, wringed it out and draped it over his father's forehead, just like his mother did.

Jack made a sound too distorted to understand. It didn't sound like a word. A complaint maybe.

"Dad?" John asked once more.

John whined in fear and frustration. What could he do? Head to the cyborgs place again? Wait for his mother to return? Wait for the man to wake up again? None of these options were things John wanted. The boy sniffed away tears and picked up the book again. He lay flat on the ground, close enough to his father to hear him breathe and flipped through the book. He knew the story by now, and he couldn't concentrate on it anyway.

"Dad..." John sniffed, shaking him again.

The boy had started to tremble in fear. The man was going to be fine, right? His father was supposed to be fine. He was always fine, even when he had bad days... The fear made the boy want to run away, but he didn't know where to, couldn't think of any place. And why run when there was no one who could help his father? He needed help, but John had no idea where to ask. Those cyborgs certainly weren't friendly.

He didn't want to leave the man alone either. What if he woke up in a daze and was confused? John knew that when he had a bad fever, he was always confused. His mother sat by his bed most of the time, or he was on the couch and could hear her clatter away in the kitchen.

Why was this happening?

The boy was surprised by his own sobs, let them come, didn't care. He wanted this to stop, wanted his father to be fine again. Why couldn't it just be fine? Why was it like this? What had he done wrong?

John cried for a while, was simply too exhausted to shed any more tears afterwards. Jack hadn't moved one bit, his face was still burning. Time was going by so slow. John wasn't sure if it was passing at all. It was hard to tell with the lack of shadows to determine the time. And he couldn't ask his father.

The boy wiped his face, still pondering about what to do when he heard someone humming. It was his mother, he recognized that song immediately. John scrambled to his feet, stormed out of the shed.

"Mom!" He yelled, his voice hoarse from all the crying.

"John?" Rose lifted her eyebrows in surprise, sat the rifle down and began to frown when he saw how little clothing the boy was wearing.

"Dad... dad is..." John didn't know how to explain it so he just pointed into the shed.

"Fuck, No!" His mother cursed loudly when she struggled to get the strap of her bag off of her and ran into the shed. She let herself drop to her knees next to the blond man, shook him.

"Jack!" she yelled. "Wake up! I found it..." She leaned over him, hugged him. "I found it... wake up... you need to talk me through this... I can't do that alone..."

John bit his trembling lip, stared at the pair, unsure of what to do. "Mom...?" he whispered silently.

"Not now!" Rose hissed at him as she shook the man on the floor again.

John wanted to cry, but he couldn't anymore. Now his mother was yelling at him too.

"God damn it, Jack!" she turned him on his back with a grunt, slapped him now. "I'll dump the bucket of water on your face!"

The boy at the makeshift entrance could hear that she was panicking, but John couldn't do anything about it. His legs were shaking so badly now that he had to sit down.

"...Rose..." It was a synthesized reply, but it was a reply after all.

John leaned against the frame of the entrance with a sigh, relief washing over him. He didn't listen to the voice that told him this wasn't over yet.

"I found it." Rose said. "You just need to tell me what to do."

It took a moment before there was a reply, it was as if the man needed to collect his thoughts first. "...get John... out of here."

"No!" the boy immediately protested.

"John-" Rose tried.

"No!" John yelled. "I'm not leaving dad alone!"

Jack weakly reach out a hand to the boy, John immediately lunged forward and took it. His father's eyes looked a lot more dull now, not like a new marble anymore. More like a dusty one now. "'s okay... just... don't look."

The boy nodded and lowered his head, still clinging to the hand of his father, who held the tiny hand as tight as possible in his current state.

The man swallowed when he nodded at Rose. John could hear her nails scraping on the metal that covered his father's body, clicking noises, some clattering.

"How do I do this...?"

"...it looks the same..." was the weak and distorted reply.

John flinched, felt the hand grip his tighter as if trying to reassure him.

"Found it. Now?"

"Disconnect... it... you need to... do it quick..."

"Anything else I need to look out for?"

"Don't... let the blood... spill too much... there's... no replacement... Make sure... it doesn't come loose..."

"Got it..."

John kept clinging to his father's hand, made a move to look, but Jack firmly pulled him down again the moment he tried. He bumped his head on the man's arm and flinched at how cold it was.

There was more clattering and clicking now. His mother cursed silently, his father grunted. Was he in pain? John tried to look again, Jack once more pulled him down.

"Don't... look." He said firmly despite the distorted and unnatural voice.

"Why...?" John asked silently.

Another clicking sound, another grunt.

"I... don't want you to see this."

John huffed, but complied. By now he had gotten a good idea what was going on. There was only one way to replace parts and the boy wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to see what his father was made of.

"Alright... I connected it. There's an LED glowing... does that mean it works?"

"We'll see.... in a few hours..."

"It better does. I went through a lot of trouble to get it." She sounded relieved and after one more clicking noise, Jack let go of the boy. "It's ...okay now."

"Are you going to be alright now?" John immediately asked when he looked up.

"...For a while..." came the slow reply. John realized he wasn't moving his mouth with the words, but it didn't surprise him. He had seen this before, even though back then it had been some sort of prank.

The man slowly tried to get up, slumped back down almost immediately and Rose had to help him up. He didn't move much, just enough to crawl onto the blanketed space that slightly resembled a bed. John  took his own blanket and curled up next to his father. There was no way he would leave the man.

"I found the place where the cyborgs stay." He muttered silently. "It's a mansion...there are a lot."

"Hmmh." Jack replied silently with his real voice, rested a hand on his son's hair as John placed his head on his chest.

"Mom did a good job, right?"

"Mhm."

"She can do all repairs now."

"...if it's just .... replacing parts... probably."

"That's great!"

"Mhm."

John wrapped his tiny arms around the bulky form of his father and sighed happily. For the moment it was all good, and that was all that mattered to the boy. Who cared if it would be over tomorrow, or in a few hours. For now it was fine. His father talked to him and he was ruffling his hair, even though it now resembled more a person petting a cat. John didn't mind.

"They chased me... but I got away."

"... good."

"You didn't reply."

The man was silent for a while. "...I'm sorry."

John shook his head. "It's okay now."

The boy then dozed off in exhaustion, but the conversation between his parents didn't go by completely unnoticed.

"I must've... scared him to death..."

"You scared _me_ to death, Jack. Just how bad is it, really?"

"...Lucky if I make it to next week..."

Rose cursed under her breath. "Were is this cyborg base thing?"

"...John can show you."

"You think he'd leave you alone?"

"I don't know if I can walk there... I'd attract... too much attention anyway... fighting is...difficult like this..."

"I know... but we made it through worse things!" the woman protested. "Don't just give up like this!"

"...To be honest..., I think this is the worst... fighting against it... won't do anything... "

\---

John woke to the smell of coffee. It was nothing he liked, had tasted it a few times but found it way too bitter. He did wonder where it came from when he sat up. His father was still there. Was he sleeping?

"Dad?"

"Mhm?"

"... are you feeling better?" John asked when he looked at the man's face. He was still pale and his eyes still strange, but he was breathing normally now and the fever seemed to be gone too.

"Yeah." The man smiled. "I'll be okay, don't worry."

John scrunched up his nose, but didn't say anything about it. "I'll show mom where the cyborgs live, okay?"

" Tell your mother to take the parts with you... as negotiation."

"You think they'll be easier to convince when we bring them parts?" John asked.

"Maybe. They need to get them somewhere too. Would save them work if someone else does it."

"Okay." The boy hugged the man once more and crawled over him to get out of the shed. "But... if they try to attack us...?"

"Your mother knows what to do. Just try not to get spotted."

John nodded firmly and left the shed.

Rose was sitting at the fire, a cup in her hand that had no handle anymore. She must have found coffee somewhere yesterday, John assumed.

"I show you where they live."

The woman handed him his shirt and jacket. They were dry now, and warm from the fire. John quickly put the clothing on and glanced back to the shed. "Is dad really okay?"

"For now..." Rose muttered. "Don't worry. We get this man to help. One way or another."

"Okay!"

John could see that his mother was reluctant to leave when she grabbed the radio and put it next to his father. He couldn't hear what they talked about. He glanced around for a while, suddenly not sure anymore if it was a good idea to leave his father alone.

"Mom..." John called. "I don't like this..."

"I don't like it either, honey." The woman said when she emerged from the shed with the plastic box and the parts.

"I want to stay here." John declared and crossed his arms. "The path is where the broken bridge is... you just need to follow it... there's a huge mansion."

The woman lifted her eyebrow. John could see that she wasn't sure what the boy wanted.

"I don't want to leave dad alone..." the boy mumbled.

Rose sighed, gently ran a hand through the boy's hair. "It's okay. I'll go alone."

John watched his mother leave after she had taken her sniper rifle. The weather wasn't better than the previous day, the clouds were almost black. John knew that those clouds usually held a thunderstorm. It was going to rain again then.

The boy headed back to the shed, happy to see that has father was sitting up now. He still looked tired and sick.

John was about to ask his father about the time, when someone kicked over the bucket filled with water. John was about to rush out to them but Jack grabbed him and pulled him close. "Shh!" He whispered.

John nodded, chewed on his lip when his father crouched next to the entrance and peeked outside. A shot ran, got deflected by the Cyborg's shoulder and hit the ceiling. John squeaked in surprise and fear when Jack grabbed his shirt and pulled him down. "Stay on the floor." He hissed, grabbed his blade and headed out.

John swallowed hard, hid away in a corner and hoped his father would take care of the intruder.

\---

Rose followed the path John had told her, jumped in and out of the bushes to hide from patrolling cyborgs. So far no one had seen her, but the close she got to the mansion the more cyborgs she seemed to encounter. When the mansion came inside she realized that there was no way to sneak past them without them noticing her, so she opted for the obvious approach and hope they wouldn't shoot her. With her hands raised to show she meant to harm, she walked down the path towards to the cyborgs that seemed to be guarding the path.

"What do you want here, lady?" the one on the left side asked.

Rose took a deep breath, was hesitant to answer, but she had to tell them the truth sooner or later anyway.

"...I have seen you patrol the area lately. There are rumors going around that you have a highly skilled technician somewhere around here."

The man on the right looked at the other. "Who talked?"

The other man shrugged. Both of them had big scarves wrapped around their necks and heads as if trying to conceal their faces. Rose couldn't care less.

"So what do you want?" the left man asked Rose. "We only take in cyborgs."

Good. That was good. Rose decided to only reveal what was necessary.

"I got word of an advanced cyborg who is in need of repairs."

The right man scoffed. "If you pay us, we might be able to look into it."

The left man snorted. "Oh but we don't want money. Money's useless here, you know?"

Rose didn't have any money anyway. Sure her bank account still held some, but with no way to access it, and nowhere to spend it, who cared? She fished the box out of her bag.

"This. Various parts from various places. I know it's not much, but surely you will be able to use those."

"Sure." The right man muttered. "Where'd you find this stuff?"

"Nowhere in particular. I just go around scavenging for stuff that looks useful." She shrugged, proud that she hadn't lost her edge. She could still lie without batting an eyelash if it was absolutely necessary. They didn't need to know that she took cyborgs apart to save her husband.

"So you find cyborg parts useful? All of those are cyborg parts." The left man had walked over to her and  lifted some parts out of the box.

Rose shrugged.

"Well there's this guy running about that slices everyone up, she might've found some of those parts." The other man assumed.

Rose held her breath for a second, but kept her facade and smiled. "I just pick up what's lying around."

"Why'd you care for this one cyborg though? You're human, shouldn't they run away or something?"

Rose tried to think of a decent answer. What was a decent reason? She couldn't tell them that Jack was her husband. "...Pity maybe." She shrugged. Tried to sound as casual as possible. "They're humans too."

The men exchanged a look, then both smirked. "So where is this cyborg?" one of them asked while the other headed over to the mansion.

"Just down that path, I can show you."

The man smirked and dug out a radio, muttered something into it in a language Rose didn't understand. Another voice answered and out of nowhere at least five more men walked over. Rose took a step backwards und the muddy ground. Her boots were slipping slightly. What was going on?

"Relax, woman. We just want you out of here." The man grabbed the box with the parts, ripped it out of Rose's hands.

The woman had her rifle ready before the man had taken one step. "Give that back!"

"Why? Surely you're not going to need it."

"I'll blow your head away if you don't!"

"Die try-"

The shot rang across the field, echoed for a moment. The man dropped the box, contents spilling over the ground. Rose didn't care anymore when she shot people, it had become routine. The other men seemed too shocked to react for a second and rose used the chance to grab the box with what was still inside and made a run for it. She would find someone else to help. Damn why did things never work out smoothly?! He boots slipped on the muddy ground and she was barely able to keep herself from falling while she ran down the path as fast as she could.

She wasn't made for running like this. Sure she had gotten used to walk around all day, sure she could run short distances, but this was a little too much. They were chasing her, of course. What else would she have expected? Cursing she stuffed the box back into her bag, darted to the left, into the bushes and trees, jumped down a small cliff, landed safely on her feet and made her way deeper into the forest. She would find her way back, somehow.  Now she needed to escape.

She heard the men shout, but their footsteps weren't close so she slowly down a little, flinched when loud thunder roared over her heads.

"Shit." She cursed silently. Being in a forest with a thunderstorm going on, wasn't a good idea she knew. But she hoped that  the lightning wouldn't hit anywhere too close to her. She slipped with that thought, slid over the ground, twisted her ankle and bit her lip to suppress a pained howl. A sprain. She could live with that. It hurt but it wouldn't kill her. Growling she got up again, hid behind a wide tree when she saw a cyborg come closer. The man didn't look like he had seen her. She had enough ammunition left to kill at least a dozen of them, if she managed to kill them in one shot. She had a lot of practice with it. Even Jack had lifted his eyebrows when he had seen her do it once. He hadn't been happy with it, not at all. But even he had understood that this was their life now and that there was no way around it.

Kill or be killed, as they said.

Rose aimed at the man's forehead, shot when he stopped for a second to look into the distance. He had seen her, but he slumped over before he could inform his comrades. The shot had of course alerted the others, Rose had known that and was already moving away from her position. She would lure them through the forest, kill them when they didn't suspect it. Who cared? There was no one left to care about right or wrong. They lived by their own rules, and Rose would not guide these people to her husband. God how glad she was that John had stayed with his father. They would have killed the boy without hesitation!

The men turned around after the lightning had crashed into a tree close to them. Rose once more became aware that her life was at risk not just by cyborgs but also by nature's forces. She needed to get out of there. The cyborgs left the forest and she tailed them in safe distance, used them to find back to the path. Her ankle hurt, but adrenalin numbed it out. She would be bugged by it later, she knew. Not that she cared right now. She needed to get back.

Once she had found the path she followed it in the opposite direction the cyborgs had went in, still using the forest to conceal herself, but soon switched to the other side and made her way cross a shallow patch of the river. No one seemed to have followed her and she allowed herself to take a deep breath.

"That was close..." she whispered, praised herself for tricking them and headed to the shed, checking for any tails. There was no one, but the shed wasn't as silent as she had expected it to be. There was yelling. John yelled, screamed, shouted. Rose sped up, cursed her ankle as it slowed her down. Once she reached the shed she wasn't sure what had scared her more. The cyborgs chasing her, or John holding Jack's blade and trying to keep a cyborg at bay while Jack was lying on the ground and blood pooled underneath him.

For a moment Rose could only stare, then she readied the rifle and blew a hole into the strangers head.

The man slumped to the ground, landed directly in front of John's feet who squeaked and dropped the blade as he stumbled backwards, tripped over his father and landed on the ground.

"Jack!" Rose shouted, fell to her knees next to him, grabbed his shoulders. There was so much blood. And they had no replacement for it! "Oh god..." Rose cried. "No..."

The man was staring at her, blue eyes focusing on her. "'s fine..." he breathed weakly. "'s all fine..."

And Rose didn't know what to do other than give in to her sobs.

Why... why had the stranger done this?!

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Rose dragged the man into the shed after John had moved aside. The rain only picked up by then. The ground was a muddy mess in just a few minutes and the makeshift roof was leaking too. John moved the bucket under the leak with trembling hands and glanced at his parents. His mother was crying when she emptied the box with the parts onto a blanket and rummaged through it.

John wasn't sure if he was unnerved by all the blood or not. It felt surreal, absurd. His father always said the movies exaggerated on the blood. There was no human who could bleed over several corridors and live afterwards. How did that apply to cyborgs? John had learned in school that a human body was able to regenerate blood if it didn't lose too much in one go. Were cyborg bodies like that too?

The boy was gripped by fear. He wanted to help too! Why was he unable to do anything to help his father? When his mother had gotten that cut on her arm, he was able to bandage it. His father had taught him how to take care of small injuries like that. But this?

"Jack..." Rose cried.

John hadn't seen how the other cyborg had attacked, but the man had tossed a knife away when the boy came to peek out. He hadn't thought much when he picked up with father's blade and swung it around as best as he could. The blade was heavy and the boy barely managed to get it off the floor, and still he had managed to swing it around a few times. He had been lucky that his mother had showed up, he knew that. He also knew that his mother had killed people. His father did too, that was no secret anymore. The boy wasn't sure what he was supposed to think about it.

His mother ran a hand over the cheek of his father, left a bloody streak. Jack was in no state to respond to her, John could see that too. And so the boy moved closer, had this sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he was going to feel really, really sick sooner or later, and yet he couldn't stop to stare at the cuts in the seemingly indestructible armor. They were thin, but they seemed to be deep. John knew next to nothing about injuries like these. His father had told him that injuries to the stomach certainly lead to death if not treated quickly and properly, back when they had watched a movie together. John had asked a few questions afterwards and his father had eagerly answered almost all of them. Once more the boy was asking himself how much damage a cyborg could take. They were designed not to break, but if they did?

Carefully he watched his mother was she undid the locks on the armor of his father. It was the same scraping sound he had heard earlier.

"John, don't look at this." His mother muttered when she was about to lift the black panel off.

John shook his head, braced himself for whatever he would see and watched in slight horror and amazement once the panel had been removed. The boy briefly remembered one of the biology books he had looked into, the pictures. This didn't look too different to him, there were things missing, and there was blood. A lot of blood. But John found that it  resembled what he had seen in the book in some ways. A mock up of human anatomy, and yet totally different.

He watched his mother work away on the parts as if she had done it a few times already. She didn't seem to be scared but she kept mumbling to herself, numbers, words, sometimes sentences. The boy couldn't tell what she was doing, but she seemed to know and that was alright for him.

"Mom..." John managed after a while.

Rose wasn't looking up at him when she nodded to acknowledge she had heard him.

"Can I do something...?"

His mother shook her head. "I'm sorry sweetheart..." she apologized.

"About the ... man outside-"

"I'll take care of him later."

John furrowed his brows. "I saw dad take some blue things from other cyborgs a few days ago-"

The boy flinched when his mother suddenly looked up at him. "John, you're a genius." She smiled at him and adjusted her position to be ready to stand. Guilty she looked at him and sighed when she nodded him over. "Can you hold this together for me?"

John slowly grabbed what his mother was holding, wrapped his hands around the bloodied parts and firmly held them together. Once he had realized he was actually having his hands in his father's insides, his stomach turned. He felt quite sick now and all the blood didn't make it better. His mother rushed out of the shed and into the rain while John tried to convince his meal from last night to take the usual course and not resurface.

Rose returned with the blue thing John had seen a few days ago. It looked ridiculous up close. Everything in the last two hours had been ridiculous to him. Surreal, absurd, impossible. And yet all of it was real.

The boy dutifully held the parts together when Rose slit open the blue thing and a clear, somewhat slimy liquid leaked out of it. John resisted the urge to pull his hands away.

"It's okay." His mother reassured him.

John didn't know what it was doing, but it seemed to seal the severed connections in wires and pipes. It didn't repair the parts that were damaged, but there was no more blood leaking out, so he thought it did something good. Or his father had simply lost too much blood...

The boy shivered and carefully took his hands away. He swallowed hard when he saw the blood on his hands. It was going to be alright, wasn't it?

His mother dug around the parts on the blanket again, searched for things to replace the ones that were broken. She made sure they were clean when she switched them out.

"It'll be okay, John..." She muttered with an exhausted sigh. "Everything will be alright."

John only nodded, used the half full bucket to clean his hands and stared at his father when Rose replaced the armor. The man was barely moving at all. He was breathing, that was a good thing, yet John couldn't help but wonder what an effect the blood loss would have. Maybe the blue thing took care of that too?

"Mom... what do we do if dad..."

Rose closed her eyes and tried to dig out anything of the counseling she could use on her son. The boy had seen too much, way too much and she was so stressed out that she couldn't quite recall all her knowledge.

"John, look at me."

The boy turned to look at her.

"I ... don't want to sugar coat it or Lie to you. We tried to keep it hidden because it wasn't immediate. It was the wrong thing to do, you have a right to know."

"Mom?"

Rose wiped her hands on her overall and forced a smile to her lips. "What I'm going to say will sound pretty harsh, but it's the truth."

John nodded, not sure if he wanted to hear it now.

"Death is a part of everyone's life. Everyone will die at some point."

"Like Snake?"

"Yes." Rose replied, to John's surprise not making a remark about how to call Uncle David. "Mommy and Daddy have lost a lot of close people. And it is hard, I won't lie. It hurts, it hurts a lot."

John bit on his trembling lower lip and glanced at his father.

Rose reached out to stroke both Jack's and John's hair, barely keeping her own tears in. "I will do anything I can to help him."

John sensed the 'but' lying in her sentence.

"But, at this point your father doesn't have much time left... He's using custom parts, parts unique to him. Nobody else has some of those. I was able to make do with what I found for quite a while... but he reached his limit. There's only so much I can do without proper knowledge."

John nodded, unable to say anything when the tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I want to talk to this person at the mansion... I'll go in the night." Rose declared then.

"Mom-"

"I will be back before morning, I promise. I know I'm asking a lot of you, but keep an eye on your father..."

"What if they come back...?"

"I will take care of anyone that crosses my path..."

She avoided his question, but John knew the answer anyway. And he would fight if he had to. His father's blade was heavy and he had no idea how to use it, but it was sharp and it could cut. It didn't matter how good he hit them as long as he hurt them enough. He was a little surprised at his own thoughts.

"And dad...?"

Rose sighed and placed a  kiss on her son's forehead. "...He might be confused when he wakes up. Tell him that everything is going to be okay."

"That's a lie." John hissed.

"I know, honey. I know." She left it at that and left the shed. He heard her shuffle away and his under the blanket next to his father, head on his chest to listen to the mechanical heart. It was so slow.

The boy jolted away when his father was squirming and made noises John had never heard before. He followed his instincts and retreated to the corner of the room, dread filling every inch of his body. He could only stare, unsure of what to do, confused, afraid. Was his father in pain or just having a nightmare? Dying?

 "Dad...?" John's voice cracked and he couldn't get anything beyond a whisper out.

Despite all the fear John forced himself to go back to the man, sat down next to him and just stared at the strong man who always protected them, never refused to play with him, who made jokes sometimes, who loved watching movies. The man that had fought against the evils of the world, the man that hat sat at home for a long time until he had found a job.

John remembered that time clearly. His mother was always working, but his father was home, kept him company, helped him with homework. On some days he refused to get out of bed, other days he refused to enter the bedroom, sometimes he sat at the same spot the whole night until John walked downstairs again. John had seen him cry on the couch once. He had never told him.

The man was now a little calmer and John hugged him tightly. Heavy arms found their way around the boy and pale blue eyes opened a crack.

"John...?" the voice was barely audible, John had almost missed it.

The boy sat up in surprise, stared at the man. Was he alright? Was it okay now?

"Want to hear a story?"

John felt a lump in his throat, something wasn't right about that, but he nodded anyway. Anything to chase away all the fear. "Yes..."

The man struggled to sit up a little, leaned against the makeshift wall of the shed. He looked a lot better, John noted. Less pale, as far as he could tell in the faint light of the oil lamp his mother had left on. Where had she found that thing?

Jack pulled the boy into his arms, held him tightly and silently began his story as if it was something magical that couldn't be repeated a second time.

"...I was born into a war-zone..."

John listened silently when his father began to tell him the whole story about his life. Without any details left out, the whole gory truth. No pretty words to make it harmless, no child friendly versions. Just the naked truth.

\---

Rose scoffed at the corpses she left behind. Should they pile up and rot, she didn't care. There wasn't the least bit of sympathy left for these people. They had almost murdered her little family, they deserved no better. Once at the mansion, she was only mildly surprised to find the field empty. She was pretty sure most cyborgs had left, and the technician too. Probably.

Was that person even going to help? Rose didn't care. She would force them and if it was the last thing she did.

Soundlessly she slipped into the dark mansion, the stench of mold and blood hit her like a rock. Seemed like someone else had been through this place. She continued on, silently, checked rooms and windows, drawers, cabinets. Anything she could use. She had been in a lot of destroyed houses, found a lot of things and a lot of corpses. She really didn't care anymore.

And then, when she had almost given up on finding anyone here, a woman crossed her path. She was armed with a rocket launcher, eyes wide and sort of frightened looking.

Rose knew immediately that the woman was afraid, her whole posture gave it away. It didn't take a person trained on that to figure that out.

"W-what do you want?!" the woman almost screamed, her voice holding an accent Rose couldn't quite place. She was wearing broken glasses, blond curly hair framed her face and two gray eyes stared at Rose.

"Help." Rose hissed. She had no room left for friendly gestures and nicely worded phrases.

"Help?!" the woman repeated in disbelief. "You come here, murder everyone and now you want help?!"

"I didn't murder anyone here." Rose hissed back. "I need help, can you repair a cyborg?! I'll pay anything!" now she shouted. Her hands were clenched into fists, she couldn't keep her anger down anymore. Panic was racing through her too.

"A cyborg?"

"Did I stutter?!"

"No..." the woman took the launcher down. "Why would you-"

"Can you do it?!"

"Well-"

"Can you?!"

"Yes."

Rose had grabbed the woman by the wrist and was dragging her out of the corridor, when the woman began to struggle.

"Hold on! Stop! I need tools!"

Rose held the rifle at her head and she squeaked in fear. "Go get it then!"

"A-alright." The woman entered a room in the corridor and filled a crate with lots of different tools and items. It was a wooden crate and Rose someone felt drawn to the writing on it.

_'3-PW-V-124-R'_

She had no idea what it meant, it was probably just an old crate of some company. "You need to carry some too." The woman muttered and handed Rose something that looked like a generator. It was heavy, clunky and it seemed to run on gas. It was better than nothing.

"Who are you?" Rose found herself asking.

"Nobody." The woman shrugged. "I repaired them, they brought me food. But they left a few hours ago. Said it was getting too dangerous around here. Left me behind, damn ass hats."

"I see." Rose still had no sympathies for the blonde woman.

"You're human, aren't you?" The woman asked Rose.

"Why do you care?! We need to go!"

The woman sighed, heaved the crate onto her shoulder and followed Rose out of the mansion. Rose was walking as fast as she could with her sprain and the heavy box on her shoulder. She didn't care about herself at all at that moment. She needed to get back.

"Why are you running like this?"

"We need to hurry!" Rose hissed

"Alright, alright."

"Did you kill them?" The woman nodded over to two corpses at the side of the path.

"Who cares?"

The woman went silent then and Rose continued to rush over to the shed. The lamp was still on, nothing seemed to have happened. She heard silent voice and she was so relieved once she realized it was Jack's voice.

It was going to be alright now. She had gotten help, it would all be good now.

When Rose entered the shed, she didn't feel relieved anymore. Sure both John and Jack were there, both looking at her, but the pale face of her husband made her forget all the nice feelings she had felt just seconds ago. His eyes were hollow, glassed over. Breath slow and shallow. He didn't smile when he saw Rose and John was only staring at her wordlessly, followed her every move. Had something happened?

"I brought help..." Rose tried to sound enthusiastic, but she couldn't get her mind to feel the same. And when The woman entered the shed, Jack made a faint move forward before he fell sideways onto the blanket, completely still.

"Jack?" Rose asked in a loud voice, panic so clear in her voice that John whimpered in fear when he reached out to his father.

"Dad?"

Both of them didn't pay attention to the woman who calmly set up whatever she needed to work on a cyborg, uncaring, oblivious to the tension in the shed.

She didn't care at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virtual Cookies for the ones who manage to figure out what the writing on the Crate means. 
> 
> I hate cliffhangers... and I know you hate them too. Haha. Don't hate me too much for it, it's not over yet.


	5. Unexpected turns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hrr. Chapter title says it all.  
> It's a little slow in the beginning, sorry about that.

John gazed at the blonde woman after she had shooed him and his mother away from his father. She seemed to know what she was doing, set to work with tools and parts, occasionally looked up, dug for another tool, used the generator to power some other tools and sometimes the boy saw sparks flying.

" _It_ needs to be moved to a less open area." The woman spoke after a while.

John furrowed his brows. 'It'?

"This condition is far from great. I have equipment in the mansion."

"And how do you think we'll get him there?"

The woman smiled. John found that it was a cold an emotionless smile. Her eyes seemed strange too. Not like his father's eyes had looked, but still different. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"It's alright to walk for a while."

"I don't think so." Rose hissed.

The woman's smile turned into a smirk. "Machines can be pushed past limits for a while."

Anger boiled up in John, but before he could say anything his mother interfered again. "Do you have any sort of conscience in you?!"

"It's a short walk." The woman replied coldly.

John didn't like this woman or her suggestions. His father wasn't feeling good, anyone could see that. For a moment, John had been sure that the man had died, but he was still breathing. It was just so shallow that it was hard to catch. The boy found himself squinting at the chest of the man again. It was still moving slightly.

The woman packed her things together and handed the generator to Rose before she went over to the cyborg and kicked him in the side.

Jack grunted, Rose dropped the generator and charged at the woman.  "Are you insane?!"

"It's just a machine." The woman shrugged and shoved Rose away.

"That's no reason to Kick him!" Rose pushed the woman away violently and knelt down next to her husband.

John glared at the woman who was going through her tools once more, humming happily as if nothing had happened. He wanted to kick her, but wasn't sure how she would react to that so he let her be. For now.

The boy had been surprised that the woman had been able to drag his father to his feet, but he was in no condition to walk. He was barely conscious, panted just from the mall movement that hadn't even been done by his own strength. John wanted to yell at the woman to leave him alone when she grabbed his father's hair and was about to drag him after her.

His mother batted her hand away. "Don't you dare." She hissed, grunted as she was suddenly supporting the whole weight of the man and was about to lose balance. The man's legs then straightened, and he gripped the shirt of his wife.

"Jack?"

She didn't get a response.

John rushed over to the two and grabbed the arm of his father that was dangling uselessly at his side. He wasn't tall enough to really support the man, but he tried anyway. His father was in no condition to walk, John didn't even know why his mother had agreed on this.

"Mom... do you think this is a good idea?"

"No." Rose hissed. "But if it means that he'll live, I don't care how bad of an idea it is."

John nodded and the four set out to the mansion. The boy was surprised by the lack of cyborgs around. There were so many just hours ago and now not one crossed their path. He saw bulges on the ground, quickly understood that those were corpses and just turned his head away. He felt sorry for all the dead people they passed, yet they would have probably attacked them if they still lived.

The boy glanced up at his father for a second, couldn't see much in the faint light of the moon.

It took more than an hour to reach the mansion, and John felt terribly sick when the stench of blood hit him. He didn't dare to spent a thought on what made the wet noise under his shoes and followed his mother through the building. The blond woman from earlier had lit a lamp and was guiding them through the mansion. It looked as old and damaged as it did from the outside. There was blood on almost every wall they passed. John swallowed hard to forget about that fact, and forced himself to think about something else.

His father had told him a story, hadn't he? It was just a few hours ago and yet it felt as if it had been a long time ago. What he had heard felt like a dream itself. John couldn't help but feel think he had been told something he wasn't supposed to know, something so meaningful and dark that it felt absurd for it to be real. Maybe he understood his father a little better now, why he acted the way he did, why he didn't want John to use a gun no matter what, why the man was a cyborg, why his parents fought so often.

John had silently listened to the whole story and didn't dare to ask any question but now he was full of them. Why had his father never said anything? Why had he stayed with Rose after all this? The boy was a little upset at his mother, but it had happened a long time ago. It would be alright, wouldn't it be?

The boy stumbled when they had reached a room on the third floor. It was clean, even looked sort of inviting with the warm looking blankets and... was that a bed? A real bed? John had almost forgotten how a real bed looked like, didn't remember the last time he had slept in one.

"Put _It_ on the floor." The woman ordered.

John watched his mother as she reluctantly complied and tried put his father onto the ground as carefully as possible. He saw a smirk flashing over the face of the woman as she flicked a switch at the wall and the room was suddenly illuminated. The windows were nailed shut, but John was more drawn in by the naked light-bulb on the ceiling.

Electricity! When was the last time he had seen a light switch that worked?!

"You have power...?"

The woman shrugged. "Sometimes it goes away, but it usually comes back in a few hours."

She opened up a dusty laptop and connected cords to the cyborg on the ground. She also hooked up other things, but John didn't know what they were called. His mother settled down next to his father, ran a hand through the blond hair, whispered things John couldn't understand. Dread filled him once more. Was his father going to be alright?

"We need some firewood. It's going to be cold tonight. Boy, you can go get it."

John nodded dutifully but his mother interrupted. "I'll go." She said and stood, didn't catch the sinister smirk on the face of the woman. John thought he had imagined it. It was gone so quickly again.

"Good. Go get some fire wood."

Rose nodded and left the room. John turned to look at her. Her dark hair had gotten a lot longer, He could see traces of blonde at the top of her hair.  The beige overall was so dirty and the rifle didn't look great anymore either. Had it ever looked good anyway? His mother was gone from sight after just a second and John turned back to his father. The man was still unconscious and John inched closer to him.

"Don't you have something to do, brat?" The woman asked him as she typed into her laptop.

"No." John mumbled.

"Why don't you go play with some sticks or something?"

John glared at her. "Why should I?"

The woman shrugged and stood. "Don't touch anything or I'll cut your hands off. And I mean that. Fucking brat." She glared at him with such intensity that he didn't think she was lying. That woman was dangerous.

John nodded, watched her leave and grabbed one of the many blankets before he settled down next to his father and hugged him tightly. He didn't know what the woman had been doing at the laptop but he hoped it was helping. The man was still, breath still shallow and slow. John didn't think it would change anytime soon when he wrapped himself in the blanket and dragged a second one over his father. He missed the time before this. When they would fool around at the dining table, tossing the lid of bottles over it and tried to catch them. Or when they played hide and seek. The boy sighed and put his head onto his father's chest. Something he found reassuring by now. Listening to the heartbeat calmed the boy down like nothing else.

There was a faint noise that sounded like a gunshot somewhere in the distance, but John wasn't sure if he had imagined it when he fell asleep.

\---

Someone shook him awake. "John... wake up." A voice whispered. The boy needed a long moment to realize it was his father.

Grumbling he opened his eyes, looked at the man who held his shoulders. Blue eyes, bright blond hair. His father. John was awake instantly when he realized that.

"Dad!" he squealed and hugged the man tightly.

"Where are we?" Jack asked silently when he wrapped his arms around the boy.

"At the cyborg-mansion... a woman helped... are you alright?"

"Better. Let's get out of here."

Jack stood slowly and John was amazed. The man was moving so much more fluent now, but he still was slow and seemed to have trouble finding his balance. He father traced the cords back to the laptop, took a look at the screen and disconnected them and all the other things.

John watched him carefully. He wasn't trembling anymore, but the boy refused to believe that everything was alright. Where was his mother? She should have been back by now.

"Dad... mom was looking for fire wood." The boy muttered when he got to his feet,  not wanting to leave the warm blanket behind. The night was long gone, John could see that through a crack in the wood that covered the windows.

"She should be outside then." Jack concluded.

"That was in the night..."

"Maybe she's somewhere else in this building."

John hoped he was right. This was strangely unnerving for the boy. His mother always returned after she was done with her tasks. He took the hand of his father and followed the man into the long corridor. In the night it had seemed shorter, but now he saw a lot of different door.

"Sh." Jack whispered even though John hadn't said anything.

The boy frowned and listened. He could hear a faint beeping noise from far away. It sped up rapidly and John barely had time to think when his father smashed a window in the corridor, grabbed the boy and jumped out of the window. The upper floor of the mansion was engulfed in flames not a second later.

John screamed both in fear and surprise when they landed safely on the ground, even though the man had trouble to keep his balance as he began to walk away from the mansion.

"Someone doesn't want us here." Jack hissed and inspected the boy. "You alright?"

"Y-yeah." John stuttered.

A bullet whizzed past them and the cyborg lunged into the nearby bushes. "We need to get away from here."

"But mom-"

"I know." Jack hissed. "We'll-"

John frowned when his father suddenly went silent and stared straight ahead at something. His face lost all color and John turned to look at when he was staring at. He saw the blond woman. She was holding a sniper rifle, Roses rifle. She was also holding something in her hand that looked like a head without a body. John wasn't sure if he had seen dark hair when his father covered his eyes with a clawed hand.

"I can't see." The boy silently complained, felt another arm snaking it's way around his waist and he was pulled backwards by the cyborg.

"Be quiet." Jack whispered. His voice was laced with tears, John clearly heard that.

"Da-"

"Shh!"

John went quiet. He couldn't see anything, but his father was carrying him now and he was running. The boy briefly wondered if the man was even able to run when Jack jumped over something and John felt like he was falling. He grit his teeth and clung to his father when the man landed on the ground and removed his hand from the boy's face.

"You didn't get hurt?"

"No..." John whispered. "I'm fine."

"Good." Jack muttered silently. He didn't sound relieved or even interested in the boy's wellbeing. John was getting concerned then.

"Hang on tight, I'm going to run a lot faster now."

"Can you-" the boy squeaked in surprise when the man began to run. John thought that he could at least keep up with a slow driving car and all the sparks flying around made it look sort of cool. The man was dodging logs and jumped up small hills without any problem. John was amazed.

After a while they had left a big chunk of the forest behind and the cyborg eventually slowed down, set the boy to the ground and slumped against a tree, breathing heavily.

"Did we shake her off?"

"...About thirty minutes ago." Jack hissed through his teeth.

"But Mom-"

"We need to find a new shelter before night comes."

John frowned. His father seemed to avoid his questions. "We need to find mom first!"

"No. We don't." The cyborg clenched his fists and took a deep breath. "It's just us now."

The boy was confused. "But..."

"That woman..." The man shook his head, slammed it against the tree behind him once and looked at John. "Let's continue."

"O-Okay..." the boy walked over to the man and took his hand. It was trembling, but John didn't think it was because he wasn't feeling well. That woman had been holding a head. John managed to recall. A dark haired head.

The boy flinched when realization hit him. That head belong to his mother, he had clearly seen the face. But where was her body? It wasn't supposed to be like that. She needed a body, right? She was no cyborg, it wasn't supposed to look like this. Where was her body? Why was it gone?!

"John..." Jack muttered when he stopped and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I know... it doesn't make any sense..." the man wrapped his arms around him, held him tightly. "I know..."

The boy just nodded, unable to grasp a clear thought, incapable of understanding the situation. He wasn't sure what was reality and what wasn't. Maybe his mother was totally fine and he had just imagined it.

She had to be somewhere. Maybe she just got lost.

"We need to find mom." John told his father. "She got lost in the forest."

Jack took a deep breath and closed his eyes when he picked the boy up. "No. She didn't."

"But I know it!" the boy fought against the strong grip of his father. "We need to go back!" He screamed and shouted, struggled to get out of the unforgiving grasp, gripped the blonde hair of the man and pulled it with all his strength but Jack's grip was firm.

John kept screaming and struggling until he was simply too exhausted to continue with it.

Jack continued on walking even when he was getting tired himself. If he let himself rest, John would go looking for his mother on his own. He just knew it.

He had never seen the boy fighting against him this violently. He even pulled a few strands of his hair out in his rage. He couldn't blame the boy, but his safety had priority now. He would go after this woman when John was safe. Make her pay.

Doing the same to her wouldn't be enough. He growled with rage, _Jack's_ boiling fury at the edges of his mind.

He couldn't give in to it yet.

John needed to be in a safe environment first.

But the woman would pay for it. Dearly.

Killing her wasn't enough. She needed to feel the same agony he was feeling. And he would make her feel it.

 


	6. Strangers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hailey, Carl, Tom, Oscar and Ivy are OC's. I'm trying not to get them too involved. I don't like oc's in fanfics. I hink i mentioned that before.
> 
> Thank you for your comments :3 I know i shocked you guys, hopefully you don't hate me too much for it. *hugs you all*

Jack cursed when his vision blurred at the edges. Of course he had known that this sudden recovery was nothing that would last. Who knew what that woman had done to him anyway? He stumbled against a tree, but forced himself to continue on. There was light in the distance. He tried to zoom into it, but his vision was too blurry to make out anything useful. Maybe a resistance group.

"Wishful thinking..." he hissed at himself.

Slowly he continued on, stumbled from time to time and stopped every few minutes to catch his breath.  John had fallen asleep, Jack thought it was for the better. He needed to last until the boy was safe.  Anything else didn't matter.

He refused to let his mind wander, but the images of what he had seen were creeping around his mind, haunting him. How was he going to last without her? She had been with him for so long...

He shook his head violently, made himself dizzy in the process and stumbled against a tree once more. He couldn't think about that now. John was more important. John needed to be safe.

The lights were closer now, it seemed to be a campfire or something close to it. Shadows were walking around, tall shadows, short shadows, big, small. Definitely not cyborgs.

It was okay. As long as they took care of John he didn't care.

The closer he got there, the more he was convinced that they would attack the moment they saw him. He had no energy left to sneak up to them, he was barely holding on to his consciousness by now.

John.

That was the only thing that kept him going.

After a few more minutes he had reached them, an elderly man stared at him with wide eyes. He was scared. Of course he was. It didn't take long for two others to notice him. A tall man with dark hair and a rifle rushed to the other man's side. A woman followed. Her face was almost completely covered by a scarf.

"What do you want, Cyborg?" The dark haired man hissed.

Jack barely comprehended what the man had sad, but he managed to hold John out to them.

"...My son." He hissed, fighting against nausea and dizziness. He couldn't keep going any longer, he knew that. At least he had managed it this far. These people were definitely a resistance group. "Please..." He took in a trembling breath. "Take care... of him..."

The tall man reached out to catch the boy when the cyborg in front of him collapsed into the muddy ground.

"What?" the woman asked in confusion.

"His son?" the man muttered in disbelief.

"They have the same hair." The older man muttered.

"Well we can't leave him there." The woman pointed towards the man on the ground and whistled on her fingers. Immediately  five men left various tents and gathered around them.

"Hailey, Carl, this guy here seems to need some serious treatment."

A dark haired woman with a cybernetic arm and a red haired young man with cybernetic legs nodded, grabbed the cyborg under the arms and dragged him towards a tent.

"Don't kill him he might be useful."

The red haired man scoffed. "Full body... that's going to be tough."

The woman chuckled and smirked when the man glared at her, "Hey, I like having a challenge.  Though you don't need to be a genius to see that he's pretty bad off. Where'd he come from?"

The woman with the scarf took John from the other man and followed the two into the tent. "No idea, He was just there." She glanced around, carefully placed John onto a makeshift bed and covered him with a blanket.

"They brothers or something?" Carl asked.

The woman with the scarf shrugged. "They do seem to be related. The guy said something about his son."

"You think the boy's useful?" Hailey asked as she turned around to the woman with the scarf  while Carl set to work on the cyborg.

The woman with the scarf shrugged when she sat down next to John. "They both look like they could use some rest. I told you we're not turning away anyone who's begging for help and that guy clearly was, even though he didn't say it. He's lucky Tom didn't shoot him."

"Oscar scolded him for killing that one guy the day before yesterday." Hailey chuckled. "Carl, can the guy be fixed?"

"He's using custom parts. Haven't seen this manufacturer in a while. I probably have to switch them with regular parts." Carl replied quickly. "No one around here would have those."

"For fucks sake-"

The woman took her scarf off and sat it on her lap. Scars of various sizes covered her face,  "Calm down Hailey. You put me back together with this shitty equipment, you can do it again."

"He's a mess." Carl replied. "Outside looks fine but his inside is a freaking _mess_. Looks like he got attacked a few times."

"The boy is completely unharmed." Hailey noticed. "Ivy, is it really worth saving that guy?"

Ivy took her long completely black hair over her shoulder and began to braid it. "Try. If we fail we can at least say that we tried."

"Alright."

Ivy wrapped the scarf back around her face and gently shook John awake. "Boy? What's your name?"

John jolted awake and sat up in confusion. Bright lights were blinding him and he shielded his eyes. "John..." he mumbled sleepily.

"I'm Ivy." The woman replied and turned off one of the bright lights hanging on the tent's ceiling so the boy could actually open his eyes.

John blinked a few times and focused on the woman's brown eyes.

"Who... are you?"

"Ivy." The woman repeated. "Who are you?"

"John...- Dad!" the boy jumped to his feet, stumbled over the blanket and got caught by strong metal arms.

Ivy sat him back on the bed. "That Cyborg is your dad?"

"Yes!" John hissed, struggled against her grip. Was she a cyborg? She was so strong!

"Calm down, boy. We'll fix him. We're on your side."

John glared at the woman, but stopped struggling. He sighed, was confused when he opened his fists and strands of blonde hair fell out. It was too long to be his own and he realized it was his father's hair. How had it gotten there?

"Here." The other woman smiled when she handed him a cup with water. "Drink. It's clean."

Carefully John took the cup and emptied it quickly. He hadn't realized how thirsty he had been.

"I'm Hailey. Say, can you do anything special?"

John frowned at her. "I... can catch fish."

Hailey smiled at him, nodded and turned away.  John flinched when the woman next to him started to speak again. "Almost all of us use cybernetic parts. We're battling the bad ones. I guess you could call us a resistance group."

"Okay..." John mumbled.

"You're lucky you two ran into us..."

"Can you really fix him...?"

The man on the far end of the room nodded with confidence. "Definitely. But it'll take a while."

"You need to help him!"

Ivy grabbed John's shoulders. "We will. What were you two doing out here, alone like that?"

The boy frowned, then remembered why they had been running and went completely silent. His mother... that woman. She had taken his mother's head. He shook his head, couldn't find his voice. He wasn't even sad, it didn't feel real at all. His mother was out there somewhere, picking up wood to make a fire. She needed to be prepared to be able to follow them, of course. She was eating fish she had caught. And she was humming happily because she knew where they stayed. She would come here in a few days. John knew she would.

\---

Jack blinked into bright lights, grunted and shut his eyes again. The HUD was back online, he had almost forgotten how that thing looked like  after having it malfunctioning for weeks. He had shut it off, now it was back, completely normal. The date was surprising him slightly, but he knew how fast days could pass in the wilderness. And who needed to keep track of dates out here anyway?

Someone was talking to him. A woman. Rose? No. the voice was deeper, raspy and had a slight mechanic tint to it. He opened his eyes once more, was assaulted be bright lights again. Someone moved the lamp away.

"Can you hear me?"

He nodded, needed a moment to get his voice to work. "Yeah..."

"What's your name?" the woman asked.

Jack could only see brown eyes under the sand colored scarf. She was no one he knew.

"...Raiden."

"I'm Ivy. We had to switch a lot of the custom parts, sorry about that. Pretty much had to rebuild your insides..."

Jack wasn't too concerned about that yet. The woman seemed to know what she was talking about.

"You'll be fine as long as you stay here. We don't have the fancy stuff, but it works out." She smirked. He could hear that in her voice. "The boy is fine, too. But he doesn't talk."

"Where is he...?"

"Playing with the other kids."

"Good..."

The woman nodded. "I don't know what happened to you two, I don't need to know. But if you want to talk, I'll listen."

"No. It's alright. Can you get John...?"

The woman nodded and left. Jack used the privacy to glance around. Machines surrounded him, most of them turned off though. It seemed that the worst was over. Still, how long had he been out? He was surprised he was still alive after all this. He had been so sure he would die. He had deserved to die... not Rose.

He swallowed his tears when John walked up to him. Jack felt a stab when he saw the boy's eyes. Those were the eyes of a child that had seen too much, was unable to cope with it. The man knew that gaze very well.

"John?" He asked silently and reached out to the boy.

John inched away, just enough so the clawed hand couldn't reach him anymore. Jack sat up slowly, and reached for the boy again, but he inched away even more. The cyborg remembered a different time then, long ago, but this time John wouldn't smile at him. He knew it.

"You didn't get hurt, did you?"

The boy stared at him, unmoving.

"Did you find friends?"

A small nod. The boy's expression didn't change. "That's good. I'm going to be alright. I  promise."

Another nod.

"Come here." Jack tried with a sad smile. Of course John was suffering, and Jack knew the signs. This was going to haunt them. He had to stay strong for the boy, couldn't let his own pain consume him while the boy was suffering like this. How everything would continue now was something he didn't want to think about yet. What was he without Rose? Calling him an emotional wreck wasn't even close to it.

John shook his head.

The cyborg slowly stood, mindful of the cords sticking to him and John took another step backwards, colliding with a chair. The boy flinched and jumped aside, glared at the object.

Jack watched him, sat down again. Why was John so afraid of him? The boy hadn't done anything wrong. The man froze. There was something.

"It's about the hair, hm?"

John's eyes widened.

"I'm not mad." The man whispered. "Come here..."

John moved closer and hugged the man, silent sobs shaking him when the clawed hands gently picked him up and stroked his back and his hair.

How did Rose do this...? Jack wondered if this stabbing sensation was really just his mind. "It's okay..." He whispered. "It's okay..."

He could barely keep his own tears in, but couldn't allow himself to give in to these emotions yet. John was more important, John needed him to be strong.

The boy didn't say a word, Jack couldn't blame him. He had read about that in a book. Sometimes young children stopped speaking after a experiencing something traumatic. He didn't doubt that it could also affect older children. John was barely a teenager. He was still so young.

He wanted to apologize, blame himself for it all, but he knew that it would just make it worse. He had picked up more from his wife than he had realized. A lot of things he could use now, and still none of this seemed to be enough. He would have done anything to make John forget.

Trying to imagine what the boy was thinking wasn't hard, but Jack had no idea how to bring all these things up. No one had ever bothered to seriously look into his own past, not on the level Rose had tried later on. By then it had been too late.

They at least needed to bury her... That probably wasn't possible though. Would he even find that place again? But that was the least he could do...

"It's okay...." at this Point Jack wasn't sure anymore if he was trying to calm the boy or himself. The tears welled up in his eyes and he couldn't do anything to keep them from dripping onto the boy's shirt.

What was he supposed to say to the boy? It wouldn't be alright now. Nothing would be okay. Rose was gone and there was no way to bring her back! He hugged the boy tighter, felt the small hands around him, heard the soft sobs and sniffles. Why had it happened like this?

Why Rose?!

Jack gently gripped the hair of the boy and bit his lower lip hard to keep the sobs in.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's quite short, I hope you enjoy it anyway. Sorry for the long wait. >.

John eventually fell asleep in the Cyborg's arms, but Jack barely noticed it. The tears kept flowing, yet it did nothing to ease the pain. He should have expected something like this, Why had he been so sure that his family was safe? Why had he allowed to get beaten up that badly. If he had been conscious he could have prevented it. He could have...

Jack flinched violently when two feet entered his field of vision. Hastily he wiped the tears away and stared at the ground.

"Are you okay?" The woman from earlier asked with her mechanic voice. She was standing in front of him, tilted her head when he looked up at her. She still had the scarf around her head.

"Yeah..." He muttered silently. Anything to keep her from asking questions. He didn't want to think about it.

She shot him a suspecting glance but didn't say anything about it.

"I have a few questions." She said instead and paced around in the tent.

Jack barely heard her while he was trying to keep his train of thoughts away from his conscious thinking. He couldn't think about it now, couldn't give in to anything. John needed him here. He was the only one who could support the boy now.

"I guess I'll ask the most obvious one first, how did you manage to survive without proper maintenance?"

She must have seen him flinch because her brows furrowed and her eyes darkened. It was all he could see of her face, but he was sure her lips were pressed together to a thin line.

"...My wife." He whispered. One more word and the tears would flow again, he knew it.

"Oh." Ivy said, her brows returned to a normal position. "Where is she?"

Jack swallowed, shook his head. He couldn't say it. Saying it was admitting it, and he couldn't. Not yet. He wasn't ready for that yet.

"Alright." Ivy muttered, crossed her arms and paced around a little more before she continued to speak.

"You have power." Jack muttered after a moment. It was obvious with the lamps and the laptops running. But how did they get it?

"Luck. It's instable, but sometimes we're even able to connect to the internet."

Jack sat up straight, almost jumped to his feet. There was a way to contact outside people! Maverick. Sunny, anyone. He needed to get John out of here.

"Calm down." Ivy sighed. "It's really slow. Do you need to contact someone? How long have you been out there?"

"Since the beginning." Jack sighed. "I _have_ to contact someone." He said firmly.

The woman held up her hands in defense. "I'll relay it to Oscar. He'll talk to you once we get a connection."

He nodded.

"Since the beginning means about two months. Do you have any idea what happened?"

He shook his head. He had no way of contacting anyone, no one seemed to know anything.

"Alright." Ivy said, sat down on a chair next to a laptop. "We don't know exactly what happened either, but what we know for sure is that it only affected a small portion of New Zealand. We're locked in though, quarantined or something. No one gets let on or out. We don't know why."

Jack listened carefully, concentrated on her words to keep his mind busy. Any information could be valuable.

"The ones who try get shot, sometimes even killed. It could be worse."

He scoffed. Anything could always be worse and yet he was sure they had hit rock bottom. Once more. He briefly wondered how often he could face this bottomless pit of desperation before he would break completely. It could always be worse and yet he had no idea how he was going to get out of this one. How was he going to manage it? They house was probably destroyed. They would have to move again, if there was ever an end to this.

"A few days ago I heard in a broadcast that they were doing an investigation of the area and if they could prove that there was no immediate danger they might let us in." Ivy continued.

Jack nodded, thoughts drifting off again. Who was he supposed to contact? Boris had probably given up hope already. He couldn't contact anyone ever since the whole ordeal had happened. Courtney could still be hoping. He sighed, decided that Sunny needed to be the first person. The girl was probably sick with worry.

"Are you listening?"

"Huh?... Sorry."

Ivy sighed. "I said, that our group is not going to the borders. Not immediately. All of us are enhanced in some way or another. Now we even got _three_ full body cyborgs. Not that one was enough already." She rolled her eyes. "The others will probably get in fine. They're civilians, too old, or too young."

Jack shot her a look. "And you? You're full body too."

The woman lifted her eyebrows. "How-" she stopped herself. "The voice..."

Jack shook his head. "They way you move."

Ivy hung her shoulders and took off the piece of fabric. Her dark hair reached below her shoulders on one side, other half of her scalp covered in burn scars. They were still reddened, they couldn't have been there for long. Her face looked similar, deep scars covered her cheeks and jaw.

He looked at her, studied her face. She rolled her eyes once more. "I'm only covering it because the kids get scared." She shrugged. "I don't care about it. I'm alive, that matters."

Jack almost scoffed, but held back. "How many are you people?"

Ivy's eyes widened. "Wait, no question about how this happened?" She pointed to her face. "You're surprising me."

He sighed and glared at her.  "How many are you?"

"About thirty." The woman then replied. "But, if you're not going to ask, I'll ask. What happened to you?"

He was upset at the intrusive question, had other things to worry about! "Doesn't matter. Do you have a map of the area?" Jack asked then. Anything. He needed to find that place again. He owed that to Rose.

 Ivy replaced the scarf on her head. She frowned, the rummaged around in an old drawer on the far end of the tent. Guides of New Zealand fell out. She picked one up, unfolded the map, stared at it, tossed it aside and picked up the next.

"Here." She held out a map, circled an area with a gloved finger.  "This is the location, but the landscape has changed, of course."

He took the map and scanned the area, nodded slightly.

"Can you read maps? I could-"

He took the map down and shot her a glare. "What makes you think I can't?"

"You just don't look like someone who'd be able to read maps." She shrugged.

"So what do I look like?" he snapped at her. John flinched at his loud voice, grumbled something in his sleep but calmed down again and continued to sleep.

Ivy smirked. "Never mind. You just look like you don't belong here. That body is way too fancy for a normal cyborg."

He growled silently. Ivy, apparently sensing that she had gone too far, left him alone. He studied the map, figured out the area where the bastard of a woman was probably staying at.  There was that lake, the area where their shed would be. He had been running for quite a while, he realized when he noticed the distance.

He could make it in half an hour, now that he was back at full strength. Kill that woman, and return. John wouldn't even notice.

He glared at all the cords sticking to him, removed them one by one after he had placed John on the bed. He grabbed a nearby blanket, covered the boy with it and kissed his hair.

"I'll be back." He whispered, when the boy's eyes snapped open. "Stay here. You're safe here. I'll be back, I promise."

John frowned, but nodded and drifted back into sleep.

Jack sneaked out of the tent. There were more tents like these, the ground muddy from all the rain in the past days. Three people not far from him, but they were distracted. He grabbed a sniper rifle someone had left on a crate and checked it for ammunition. The chance of finding a sword was close to zero, so he just took the rifle. The crate almost fell over and he silently set it back in place, noticed some red writing on it. Mud covered it and he didn't bother to read it when he hid behind the tent he had just left. No one was paying attention to him. It was easy to sneak away.

His systems were running normal, a bit less efficient, probably due to the change in parts, but it was barely notable. For now.

The forest was getting deeper every few meters, _Jack_ was boiling with anger. A smirk crossed his features. He would let loose on that woman. Even without the blade. He would make it slow and painful.

Thirty three minutes after he had left the resistance group, he arrived at the Mansion. There was no one to be seen, yet the radar showed a heat source not too far away from him. He waited, located the blonde woman not much later and just watched her, let the anger build up, overtake his senses. There was no reason to hold back now.

When she was close to him stepped out of his hiding place.

With a frightened squeak she stepped away, eyes wide. Jack didn't feel any sympathy for her. This was the woman who murdered Rose.

"Got any last words before I tear you apart?" He growled in a voice that was lower, way lower than usual, the smirk almost hurt, but he enjoyed every second of frightening that woman. He leaned forward to her, grinned at her.

Her expression shifted when she took another step backwards, brought her weight around and did a back flip to put some distance between them.

Jack laughed and slowly closed the distance between them. "You can't run. _I won't let you_."

She tried again with the back flip, then tried to kick him. He grabbed her leg and threw across the field. She slid over the ground with a grunt, grabbed a wooden plank that was lying close to her when she scrambled to her feet.

"Stay away!" she yelled, pointed the plank at him.

A chuckle came over his lips and he slowly walked over to her, almost as if he was taking a stroll.

Then, without a warning, he shot forward and grabbed her throat, pressed her hard against a tree behind her while she clawed at his hand after she had let go of the plank. She kicked him and struggled but he wasn't the least bit affected by it, it only fueled his rage.

He moved in closer to her, his mouth close to her ear.

" _You're going to die._ " He snickered, held her tighter for a second before he smashed her into the ground and enjoyed how she scrambled to her feet.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing 'the ripper' is .... satisfying lol.


	8. Chapter 8

The woman threw rocks at him. He didn't even bother to dodge when they hit his armored body. The HUD flickered, but he paid no attention to it. Maybe a glitch, he didn't care, couldn't care. He was focusing on that woman, took in the fear in her eyes when he walked over to her again.

"Stay where you are!" She screamed at him.

He laughed. " _And f I don't?_ "

She pulled a knife out, held it in front of her. He kept walking towards her, complete open, rifle in one hand. The smirk tugged at his face as it got wider and wider. He longed for the sword, it would have been way more exciting to slice her apart. But it would have to do. He circled her like a lion, eyes never leaving his _prey_.

"This place is rigged with mines." She hissed.

He only laughed more, lunged at her again, but this time she was quicker to react. She threw herself to the side, managed to avoid him and landed a kick to his side before he grabbed her leg and flung her across the field yet again.

She landed with a grunt, jumped back to her feet and dashed into the ruined mansion. He chased her. She was no match for his speed, but the corridors with all their corners made it almost impossible to use the ninja run.  He didn't need it.

"You fucking persistent!" he heard her yell. "Go away!"

He scoffed, chose not to reply. He was slightly impressed by the lack of fear even though the woman had been so frightened just minutes ago. Was she getting cocky because she had lured him inside? She was at a disadvantage too, and he had the radar. He knew where she was hiding, so he slowly down.

A snicker came over his lips, gradually turned into laughter as he walked through the corridor.

He made his way upstairs, the whole second floor was nothing but ruins. Rubble and debris everywhere, but an open area nonetheless. The woman was standing there, her knife firmly in her hands.

He readied the Rifle. The short distance could kill her even if he didn't hit vital parts, she could trip and fall down, but he didn't care one bit.

"You wouldn't dare." She laughed at him. She was making fun of him.

He didn't need the scope to aim at her, just a few steps separated them. Jack moved a finger over the trigger. A cat screamed in the distance, birds flew up. He didn't turn, but he saw something glimmering  on the floor in the moon light. It was a sliver wedding ring. A pale hand was wearing it. There was someone on the floor, dressed in a bloodied overall that could have been beige once. One shoe was missing. The head was gone.

The rage overtook his conscious thinking, he forgot everything around him when he jumped at the blond woman with a yell that was a mix between anger and a scream of agony. He tackled her, ripped at her hair, his eyes glowed in the darkness as she fell backward into the rubble. She gasped, screamed when his clawed hand dug deep into her scalp, the other firmly around her neck.

She had no time to beg, even though she tried. The claws cracked her skull, the other lodged into her throat and slowly he clenched both hands to fists. He wasn't thinking, he was acting on instinct, roared like an animal when he tore her head off her body, crushed it before it had separated completely. He was panting, tossed the lump of hair and flesh aside and continued with the rest of the body.

When there was nothing left to rip apart he looked at the gruesome work he had left on the ground and snapped back to reality.

There was a strange sense of satisfaction filling him when he glanced over to the corpse next to the remains of the blonde woman.

"She got what she deserved, Rose." He told the corpse. "She deserved it."

Slowly he stood, was in some sort of daze when he made his way over to the body on the floor. The moonlight was reflecting off the pale skin. Her hair would have reflected it beautifully if it had been there.

"She deserved it... for doing this to you." He picked the stiff corpse up, ignored the stench. The head was gone and he couldn't see it. Would he find it? He didn't know.

"She deserved it..." he repeated when he made his way down the stairs. Repeated it when he walked through the forest.

"There are so many stars tonight..." He told her. "Way more than usual."

He was stumbling through the forest, artificial heart hammering against his artificial chest. "I found people, Rose... We can get out of here..." He chuckled. "No... John will get out of here. You have to stay here..." His chuckle turned into a laugh. "No. You can't come with us Rose..."

He stopped, his smile vanished and he stared straight ahead into the darkness. His shoulders dropped when he sank to his knees, anger finally vanishing and realization hitting him.

She was dead.

He looked at the headless corpse in front of him, felt a stab searing through his insides. The whole time he had known it, he had seen so many corpses in his life. But this time was different. He clawed his head, tugged at his hair. Where was this sudden pain coming from? It made it hard to breathe, his heart was racing even more now. What had he been fighting for the whole time? Why was he still here?!

He gripped his hair. This was wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Was this a nightmare? A hallucination? A game?!

Why had he allowed it to happen?! He had failed. Their family was ruined. He had lost the only person who was able to support him, the only source of strength that still existed for him.

Why? Why was this happening...?

"Rose..." he managed between panting breaths. "No..." he hissed. "This is wrong..."

His body was trembling so badly he had to claw the ground to keep himself steady.

"This is wrong..." he whispered. "Do you hear me?"

He swallowed hard, unable to suppress the tears.

"This is wrong, Rose!" he hissed at the corpse. "This wasn't supposed to happen!"

He dropped his forehead onto her bloodied chest as sobs shook him. He couldn't hold them back, didn't want to. This pain was worse than any physical injury he had ever sustained. It felt as if his insides were torn apart, as if his heart wanted to burst.

He almost screamed with the sobs. Why did it hurt so bad?! Why was this so painful?!

The rustles in the bushed around him went by unnoticed. He didn't care about anything.

There were hushed voices, a hand on his shoulder. He barely reacted to it, too focused on the inner turmoil.

"...Raiden... was it?" Ivy.

Jack froze in place. How had the found him?! He had no energy left to keep his facade up, he couldn't pretend that there was nothing wrong now. He was probably covered in blood and what not, and Rose... would they think he murdered her?

"Are you-" She stopped and crouched down next to him. "No, that's a stupid thing to ask... come."

She held a hand into his direction but he only glanced at her with wide eyes, tears still flowing, he couldn't do anything to stop them.

The brown eyes woman reflected his look of sadness. "She ... was your wife..." Ivy realized.

Jack could only nod, the lump in his throat made him unable to use his voice, but he didn't want to speak anyway.

"We need to get away from here." One of the men then said. "We will give her a proper burial."

Jack barely registered that Ivy had pulled him to his feet and was steadying his trembling frame with her arms. A normal person would have broken down under his weight but she wasn't affected by it at all.

"We heard screams." Ivy eventually began. "It's silent at night, so sounds get carried quite far if the winds in a good position."

He didn't reply, watched the man in front of them carry Rose. If only he had looked out better, if only...

"I know it's hard..." Ivy eventually muttered. "The Explosion that took my body also claimed my family."

Jack glanced at her for a second, then directed his gaze to the ground.

"You have your boy. He loves you a lot." Ivy smiled. "Even though he doesn't speak a word, his big questioning eyes are like an open book." She said.  "He's really cute."

Jack grunted. Ivy adjusted his arm over her shoulder. He could barely walk, but It would go away. Humans could overcome anything if they had the right company.

"Now... it would be a lie to say that I got over it." Ivy then admitted. "I still miss them, but I accepted it, and they're always with me. In my memories, in my heart. They won't lose that place."

Jack only nodded, suppressed tears again.

"Everyone has their own way of dealing with it, but you're not alone with it." She use the hand she had held his arm with to straighten t a few stray strands o his hair. "All of us have lost someone. You're definitely not alone, and if you need advice, just ask. We're more than happy to have someone around who has new stories. By now we have heard all of them over and over again."

Jack looked at her, frowned. "You..." his voice cracked and he had to start again. "You want me to stay?"

"Sure do." Ivy grinned. "You fit right in."

He scoffed, glared ahead again, eyes fixed on the remains of the woman he had been with for so long. "I'm... not a very social person."

"Hey, we're all different. That's what makes it interesting."

He just nodded.

"I thought about making you take care of the kids. They're a bunch of little rascals so maybe they listen to a guy who actually has experience." Ivy grinned. "And if not, they at least be busy trying to take a cyborg down."

He wanted to argue, but their outpost came insight and he couldn't say anything anymore when the man who carried Rose's corpse walked to the left to be out of sight of the children that were playing with a ball. John was sitting on a crate, an older man next to him. The man spoke to him, John would nod or shake his head. He still didn't speak.

Jack felt relieved at the fact that the boy was still there. How was the boy going to react though? He had let the monster out. He had killed a person for no other reason than revenge. John didn't seem to care when he jumped off the crate and dashed towards his father. Ivy let go of him then, but had to grip him again almost immediately. He was swaying so badly the he would have fallen over.

Jack hesitated when John wrapped his arms around the man. He was covered in blood, had John ignored it? Or had he not seen it?

"Dad..." the boy whispered. "Did you find mom...?"

Jack crouched down, wrapped his arms tightly around the boy. "John... Your mother is with Snake now..."

"I know... Ivy explained it... But Mom is always going to be in our memories."

Jack held his breath or a moment and nodded.

"She will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried. hrg this put strain on me haha.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More shit going down. Hope you still like it, sorry for the long wait :3

He stared at the flowers they had gathered on the pile of dirt, couldn't quite grasp that his mother was under all of that. His father had left him alone not long ago, said something about having to speak to Ivy. John didn't want to leave this place. If anything, he wanted to go back in time. If he had been the one looking for firewood she could still be there, then again, maybe the woman had wanted to kill his parents first.

He was glad the woman didn't show up here. She couldn't be that interested in them if she didn't bother to look for them. Or she got lost in the forest. John sighed, stared at the rock they had used as a replacement for a decent gravestone, glared at the colored stones some kids had placed there. They didn't even know his mother, why did they care?

A hand on his shoulder made him turn around, ready to strike at the attacker. In the past two days everyone was a threat to him. He didn't know he was so on edge, why he wanted to attack everything that moved. He let his fists sink when he recognized the blond man. His father looked normal again, his eyes were a bit puffy, but that was probably because he had been crying. John couldn't cry anymore. It still felt unreal to him.

His father didn't bother to say anything about the almost-attack when he crouched down next to the boy and held out a bowl filled with steaming soup.

"Thought you were hungry." The man really tried hard to appear as if he was fine. John didn't know when he had noticed that his father did certain things when he was upset or sad. He usually stared at the ground, but John didn't see that now. The man even smiled. That was what made John suspicious about it. His father never smiled when he didn't have a good reason and over all his smiles were usually very faint, barely notable.

John took the bowl, stared at the man. "What about you?"

A faint smile ghosted over the features of the tall man. "I'm good. Eat up."

"I hope you're not lying." John said quietly with a slightly accusing tone, when he took the spoon. "You lied a lot."

The man didn't think long before he replied.  "I'm not lying this time. Everything is working the way it's supposed to."

The boy nodded, but the glare stayed on his face  even after he had tasted the soup and realized how hungry he had been.

"I'll have no one left when you're gone too." John said, his voice strangely monotone and cold.

There wasn't much John felt besides anger and grief. This strange thought of wanting to hurt the woman who did this to his mother was unnerving to him though. He wasn't a violent person, he had never been. In school he was the one who broke up the fights. And yet, he wanted to know how it would feel to punch that woman for hurting, killing, his mother.

"I managed to contact Hal and Sunny. They'll pick up us once they get through to here."

John nodded, smiled, but didn't reply. He was happy that they would finally be back in a normal life when Sunny and Hal came, but he wasn't sure how normal that life could be without his mother.

"Dad..." John muttered after a while. He didn't know what he was getting at, had no idea how to start. "Is it okay to want revenge?"

The boy watched the eyes of his father narrow as his brows furrowed. He was not happy about the topic. John couldn't blame him, after all his father had told him, he couldn't blame him for anything anymore. Everything made sense.

"...I'm...  not the right person to ask that." The man eventually muttered.

John shook his head. "I want to hear your opinion on it..."

Jack sighed, ran a hand through his hair and stared into the sunset for a few minutes.  "I don't think my thoughts on it have any value, morality wise." He almost whispered. "You should build your own opinion on it, don't let my messed up sense of morality stain yours."

"I want to hear it." John insisted.

The cyborg stayed silent for a while longer this time, then finally looked John in the eye. "I told you... that there is a side of me that isn't restricted by morals or conscience."

John nodded.

Jack shrugged. "This is who I am... I don't give a damn about the rules society forced upon me. They don't apply to me, I've always just pretended to be normal." He chuckled. "I'm fucked up in the head, John. To be honest, I'm surprised I'm still holding it together. You're old enough now, you might not understand it all, but this is who I am."

John didn't bother to interrupt the man, he hadn't realized that there was even more to the long story his father had told him earlier.

"These hands," Jack continued, flexing his hands slightly, staring at them. "They've murdered people, countless people ever since I was a child. Now they might not be human hands anymore, but they still have blood on them."

The boy quietly continued to listen, took in the words his father said.

"And still, you think I'm that hero who saves people."

Now John decided to interfere. "You always said _'One sword keeps another in the sheath'_. What happened to that?"

"That woman... who did this to your mother..." Jack gestured to the pile of flowers. "I murdered her."

John couldn't say he was surprised. Maybe a little disappointed that he now wouldn't get a chance to punch that woman, but he wasn't shocked or surprised at all. It just fell into place with all the other things his father had told him. John was convinced that the woman deserved it. And there he had his answer.

"Revenge is okay if they deserve it... right?"

Jack smiled with a sigh. "That's what I think. But it's not what society thinks."

"I think you're right." The boy muttered. "She hurt mom... she doesn't deserve any better."

They sat in silence for a while after that, both pondering about their thoughts on revenge.

The evening was unusually chilly, the last sunbeams of the day not doing much to warm the boy up. Just when he decided to get a blanket a noise echoed over the small outpost.

John hadn't heard it before, it sounded as if someone was slamming cooking pots together for fun, and yet it had some urgency to it. He barely had enough time to place the bowl on the ground before his father grabbed his arm and pulled him away.

A group of ten or more cyborgs all armed with guns and bats and all kinds of other weapons that seemed useful, made their way into their outpost, shattered everything in their way. John watched in horror when one of them grabbed one of the kids that were playing next to the tents and tossed it to the ground.

He heard his father growl in anger before he was shoved into the bushes by the strong arms of the cyborg. He understood the gesture clear even without any words. He was supposed to hide.

He watched his father as he made his way over to the cyborgs, grabbed a rifle. Soon Ivy and Tom were at his side.

John hid away deeper in the bushes when Hailey and Carl ushered the  other kids into his direction. He told them to stay silent and stay on the ground, swallowed his own fear when he heard gunshots and yelling.  John wasn't sure what was going on. He couldn't see anything, and risking a look would probably only make the other kids even more nervous. Most of them were barely ten years old.

An explosion close to them sent him flying. He crashed into a tree and landed heavily on the ground. His ears were ringing loudly, vision blurred and distorted. Someone was crying in the distance. Then another explosion and everything around him went silent. He heard the blood rush in his ears, his own breath and the heartbeat that hammered in his chest.

Slowly he tried to get back to his feet, only partly succeeded, but he got to his knees, that was better than nothing. There were kids all over the place, but it was silent. John frowned at that. He saw a dark person run over to him, was grabbed by his petrol blue jacket and yanked off the ground when another explosion hit.

John struggled against the tight grip of the person, realized there was no reason to panic when he recognized that the man was his father. He sighed, allowed himself some rest then. His head was hurting and his body aching, but he didn't seem to be seriously injured so he just stopped caring. His father was there, everything would be good now.

That was until he suddenly tumbled to the ground and a terribly noise sounded next to him. He opened his eyes, the forest was dark around them and he could barely see anything, but he saw the figure of his father, hunched over on the ground, wheezing, coughing. Instantly, John was alarmed and made his way over to the man.

"Dad!" He hissed in whisper, unsure of what was going on.  He realized it when his hands slipped of the back of his father. They were covered in blood. The whole back of his father was full with small bullet holes.

"It's.... okay." The man gasped, pulled the boy close and slumped to the ground with him. "Just.... stay still... Pretend to be dead. They'll... leave you alone then."

John protested, but the heavy arms were unforgiving and so he was forced to lie next to the man, unable to do a thing. "You're hurt!" The boy insisted.

"It's okay..." Jack repeated. "Sunny... and Hal are coming here..." his voice was slurring and John kept trying to struggle free.

"I'll get help, let me go!"

The hands only gripped him tighter. There were footsteps in the distance and John bit his lips, was now forced to listen to the shaky gasps of air his father took, felt the blood drip into his head and face. The cyborg was shaking violently, the footsteps coming closer.

"I saw them run here."

John saw the light of a flashlight above him. He inched closer to the cyborg, pressed his eyes shut and held his breath.

"There." Another voice said.

"They're dead." A third voice said, female this time.

"Care to check?"

A scoff, then someone jumped down to them. John tried hard not to move, but his heart was hammering and he couldn't hold his breath any longer.

"Hey, the boy is still-" his words were drowned in a garble.

John squeaked in surprise and fear when his father suddenly shot up. His eyes were glowing red and the boy only got a glimpse of the three people before all three of them dropped to the ground with horrible screams and noises.

John stared at the bloodied form of his father, illuminated by the moonlight shining through the leafs and branches of the forest. Blood was running down his lips, his arms, his back, his legs. There was blood everywhere, but not just his own.

"Dad...?" John asked with a thin voice, unsure of what to say when the man dropped to his knees and landed face first in the dirt.

John crawled up to him,  wiped the dirt off his face, but it did little to help the man. A heavy hand suddenly clung to his jacket and the cyborg weakly lifted his head, eyes back to their normal color, as war as John could tell in the faint light.

"John..." It wasn't more than a breathless whisper, John almost missed it. "I'm....sorry." the man hissed. "I... I can't....  come with you.... after all..."

The hand gripped the jacket tighter, hurt the arm below, but John didn't even notice when he leaned in, grabbed the hair of the man. "Dad!" He squeaked, frightened to the core, tears stinging in his eyes. "Dad!"

The blue eyes looked at him for a short moment and a sad smile spread over his face. "...You're.... a great son.... I'm.... glad.... I was.... allowed.... to meet you..." By now the words were just a barely audible whisper, John had trouble to understand them.

He gripped the hand that was still clawing his jacket, watched in horror as it slipped from his fingers and slammed into the ground as the boy's trembling hands couldn't hold on to it.

"Dad...?" John whispered, a lump in his throat, tears burning in his eyes. He blinked them away, felt them run down his cheeks anyway.

When he didn't get a response he felt as if someone had stolen all the air from the forest. He couldn't breathe, panicked. He was screaming into the forest, but he barely registered it, barely took note of the wind that suddenly picked up, or the thick clouds that covered the moon and made  the forest even darker.

He lost himself in welcoming and warming darkness when rain started to pour down in him, his father, and the remains of the three people around them.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done. I hope this is some sort of resolve to everything. 
> 
> I really lost motivation halfway through this thing, but I don't like to leave things incomplete.

John opened his eyes when he felt warmth around him, it was loud, noisy and warm. He was moving, he realized, someone was moving him. There was fabric underneath his fingertips. It felt like a jacket. He blinked, looked up at the man who was carrying him. His face was expressionless, jaw clenched, tears in his eyes. The brown hair of the man was drenched. It was as short as John remembered. The classes were there too.

"...Hal?" John muttered silently.

The man looked at him. "John..." His voice was weak, trembling.

"...Why are you here?"

Hal seemed to walk over to the source of the noise. John realized that it was a helicopter, then. "...Raiden... contacted me."

"Oh..." John mumbled, drifting back into exhausted sleep.

He woke a second time when the helicopter was high up in the sky. His drenched clothing was gone and he was covered in blankets. A familiar face was above him, brown eyes staring, a deep frown on her features.

"Sunny..." John whispered.

The girl nodded slowly. Her face didn't hold anything of that bright smile she usually greeted him with. She didn't seem to know what she was supposed to say either.

John felt a strange sense of emptiness in his chest. Something important was gone. For good. He would never get it back.  

"Do you feel okay?" Sunny eventually asked.

John nodded after a moment, he wasn't injured. At least not badly. A few bruises here and there and a few scratches. They would heal. But he was far from okay.

"We'll take you with us, the quarantine was removed a few hours ago, they didn't find anything that could harm anyone."

Another nod.

Sunny bit her lip, suddenly flung herself at John and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry!" she sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"

The whole travel to the states was a blur for John, he barely took note of anything during the flights or in between them. Only when they reached the house Hal and Sunny lived in, John finally began to realize that he was alone now.

Completely alone.

"I'll get the guest room ready for you, alright?" Sunny said to him. He was standing in the hallway, now dressed in new clothing but he didn't really pay attention to it or to Sunny, or anything else. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. He wasn't supposed to be alone like that.

There was no one left now.

Hall tried to talk to him, but John didn't listen and when Sunny had the room ready, he just sat there all day, not wanting to do anything. They held something like a funeral for his parents, John barely took note of it. He didn't care about the few people that showed up, not about their words or their fakes tears.

No one understood.

John spent the next few weeks mostly in the guest room, only came down to eat something, if he happened to be hungry at all. Sunny tried to talk to him a lot, Hal had given up a while ago. The girl always tried to cheer him up, but everything went past him as if it was happening in a dream.

It was when Hal decided to put him in a school, when John finally broke out of the cycle of the never ending thoughts about what was gone.  They had argued for a long time, Sunny had yelled at them to stop, but overall she was happy that John finally showed a reaction to something, even if it was anger. 

Somehow she knew that this anger wasn't about Hal's actions but something that went deeper.

And Sunny knew the boy was going to take on a path he couldn't turn back from, when one day Wolf and the boy went missing.

She hoped that whatever John was planning wouldn't kill him. She wasn't worried. He had wolf with him. Wolf would contact her if something bad happened.

And she was sure John would return when he got hungry enough.

Hal saw that a little differently and had the police search for him.

John however, never returned.

No one knew where he was and what he was doing. Sunny just clung to the hope that he was alive somewhere and would come back once he had enough of whatever he was doing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not good at making shit up that sounds logical or is believable, please forgive me. I'm still fairly new to this fandom.
> 
> I'll probably make use of the Deus Ex (Nano)-Machina.
> 
> Thanks for reading it, comments are always appreciated!


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